Dying Young...

Classical and instrumental music have been my favorite kinds of music ever since I learned to appreciate music other than the songs we learned in class back in Grade School. Beautiful music always gives me the feeling of euphoria or what most would call "high." This is the reason why I usually don’t like other people (especially people who don’t know me much) to see me when I "really" listen to music. I go nuts while listening to MY kind of music. Good thing most people my age don’t really like the kind of music I love listening to. :)

Music is one of the things that are sure to make me cry. I used to get teased a lot because of this (well, I still do). Music makes me want to close my eyes, spread my hands and just be free from everything. My senses become alive when I hear beautiful music. When I watch movies, music is one of the most important things I consider. Maybe I was a musician in my past life, I don’t know. All I know is that music resides in my heart and soul. I cannot live without music.

Last night, I was listening to the Il Postino (The Postman) original soundtrack when, as usual, I started to cry. I was listening to Pablo Neruda's love poems being read by famous Hollywood stars. Poetry is another thing that always makes me cry and is also a very important part of my life (that deserves a whole new blog entry). After the Neruda poems came the part of instrumental music. I was trying my best not to cry, but when it came to this part, I just couldn’t stop it anymore. I cried not only because the music was simply beautiful, but also because I remembered my Kuya Reynill.

Kuya Reynill was my classmate back in Grade School and High School. He was really nice, very kind. He was never the sensitive type. This was probably why he would always be the butt of class jokes. No, he didn’t look funny at all. He was neither clowning around all the time. He was, in fact, rather serious. It was just that he had more share of mistakes and, well, embarrassing moments than most of us. But, not in any time did he ever get affected by this fact. He would always laugh with us when we laughed at him. That was how nice he was. He was a happy person.

I was quite close to him, which is why I was one of the first few to call him "Kuya" (older brother). He was really like a brother to me. I loved him dearly (I never knew if he ever knew how much we all loved him). How could you not love someone who was so kind as to gladly volunteer to get you stuff from far-away stores just because you didn’t feel like getting up from your comfortable chair? How could you not love someone who would always be there to listen to your childish thoughts and foolish ideas? How could we not love him?

On our third year in High School, Kuya Reynill, knowing how much I loved classical and instrumental music, introduced me to the Dying Young original soundtrack. I remember him telling me how he cried when he listened to that tape. He even teased me about my crying over beautiful music. And, so, I listened to the soundtrack. As expected, I cried buckets of tears (and I haven’t even seen the movie at that time). I was just enveloped by the feeling of sadness that the music wanted to create in the listener. I knew I had to have that tape for my collection.

I told (note that I didn’t ask) Kuya Reynill that I wanted the tape. He told me it was his cousin’s. I told him that I wanted it and I didn’t care if it belonged to his cousin or whoever. He had to beg me to give it back. I didn’t give it back until he promised to buy me one. He also said that his buying me my own copy of the tape would be great because I surely would never forget him. "Every time na marinig mo ‘yun, maaalala mo ako, ‘di ba?" (Every time you hear that piece, you’ll remember me, right?) I didn’t even appreciate this, I only told him to hurry up and buy me the tape as soon as possible. He could only say, "Sige, pagpunta ko ulit sa Iligan, ha?" (Okay, next time I go to Iligan, alright?) That made my day.

But, he never fulfilled his promise. He went to Iligan often, but he would always forget to get me my Dying Young soundtrack. The days became weeks and months, but the tape never came until I totally forgot about the promise, too. I guess he forgot about it as well. The months became years and before we knew it, we were already graduating from High School.

He transferred to Iligan for college; I stayed in MSU and never heard much from or about him. I could count on the fingers of my right hand the number of times I saw him all throughout college. In no time, I graduated from college. In the one year that I bummed around, I never saw him at all. Then, I decided to come to Manila for further studies. Dying Young and Kuya Reynill became just mere shadows behind larger and fonder memories. I barely remembered him.

As I sallied through Asian studies and, later, English studies, life became very busy and all about Asian history and culture, Japan and the English language. High School seemed to have been centuries ago. The childish fears and ideas had more or less been completely forgotten. The times I passed and left kept to themselves most memories of the good ol’ days. It was impossible to remember Kuya Reynill, especially after years of not seeing or hearing from him.

Then, one day, big news of my dear Kuya Reynill came. It was so unexpected I almost went crazy when I heard it. It was so unbelievable I wanted to fly back home just to know if it were true. He was a natural jester, yes, but Kuya Reynill could not have borne to play such a joke- a cruel, cruel joke on me! I desperately tried to contact everyone I knew to confirm that the news was a just a big joke. It wasn’t…

Kuya Reynill never got me that soundtrack. But, he made sure that it would forever remind me of him. What a great joke he played on me! He never fulfilled that promise for he had another thing in mind. I never knew that he wanted that beautiful piece to carry his very memory. "Every time you hear that piece, you’ll remember me, right?" I never thought that when he said these words, he was telling me something. I never knew that he would, himself, be "DYING YOUNG."

I will be getting a copy of that soundtrack one day. And, I know that wherever and whenever I listen to it, my Kuya Reynill will be with me. :)