August...

August is a month that brings lots of memories to me, both good and bad. It’s during this month that I would always introspect and reflect about things that have happened in my life and be thankful for everything despite and inspite of some bad things.

August 2000: The Birth of Tanglaw

I was fresh from college graduation when I found out that I was part of the Philippine delegation to the 27th Ship for SouthEast Asian Youth Program (SSEAYP). It was August 2000. The National Youth Commission informed me through mail that after the interview (a few moths before), the essay writing and screening my credentials, I was chosen as one of the finalists. The letter of confirmation came on the 5th day of the month. It said that I had to be in Manila for the Orientation and the Medical, Physical and Psychological Examinations by the 16th of the month. It also said that to be submitted on the 16th (the Orientation Day) were my passport, police and barangay clearances, and birth certificate. At the time I received the communication, I didn’t have a passport. So, that gave me eleven days to accomplish everything. The police and barangay clearances were not a problem since I don’t have any criminal record whatsoever. My mom had a copy of my birth certificate, so it was ready in no time. But, the passport? We needed to go to Cagayan de Oro, a good two-hour land travel (minus traffic), to get a passport. It was a good thing that there weren’t a lot of people in line to get passports (not like in Manila). It also helped, of course, that the Director of the Regional Office of the Department of Foreign Affairs is a good friend of my parents'. (Yeah, I will not deny that!) I got my passport less than a week after we went to apply for one. Then, I was off to Manila!

I met my SSEAYP batchmates-to-be on the 16th. It was great because as soon as some of us got to talking, it felt like we knew one another our whole lives. We were all together the next two days for the medical and physical examinations and the psychological examination, which gave me a really bad headache and which took us a whole day to finish. And, on the 19th, we found ourselves on a bus and on our way to Tagaytay for our Pre-Departure Training. Those ten days of training were some of my most unforgettable days. Those were days of great camaraderie, laughter, pride, happiness, sadness, even fear and nervousness… everything! After the PDT, we all realized that we’d experienced and found great friendship and family outside of our own families back home. The month closed with all of us ecstatic beyond belief. We were confirmed as “delegates” on the 30th. That was one of my proudest and happiest moments. August would always bring me back to those days. :)


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August 2001: Tanglaw's Rizza Simon



Exactly a year after that, we were all still “drunk” from our SSEAYP days. Our heads were still full of SSEAYP memories so fresh that sometimes it felt like we were all still there. We were all back in our respective hometowns and provinces, but we could still hear the bell that called us to meals and the very Japanese “this is an announcement from the administration…” that boomed all over the Nippon Maru (our ship), we could still smell and taste all the seafood, the ice cream, the different kinds of rice (Japanese rice, ordinary rice, fried rice, etc.), the eggs (cooked/prepared in every way you could imagine), the Haagen Dazs ice cream from the vending machine, etc, etc, etc. (Aaah, I could just imagine all these things as if I were still there right now.)

That August in 2001, we were all so excited and sad at the same time because it was our turn to sit as part of the panel of interviewers for the screening of applicants for the next batch. Ever since we came back from the program, every single activity that had something to do with SSEAYP stirred an inexplicable excitement and happiness within each one of us and we were sad because with the excitement of interviewing new applicants came the realization that we were no longer THE participating youths (PYs), we had become ex-PYs.

The interview for Region 12 (the region I represented) was held in Cotabato City. I went there accompanied by my mom, the driver and a guy friend of mine. It was the 18th. Only one day was needed for all the Region 12 applicants to be interviewed. So, naturally, we decided to leave for home the very next day. While we were packing our things, I received a text from Randy, one of my batchmates. It said “Kawawa naman si Rizza, ‘no? Namatay!” (Poor Rizza, right? She’s dead!) Yes, it was that blunt. I will never forget those words. I was so shocked it felt like hours passed before I could move. I couldn’t breathe.

As soon as I could function normally, i.e. think straight and breathe normally, I texted Randy. I demanded for him to apologize for such a bad and cruel joke, but he never replied. I immediately called Popsie (our National Leader) and asked him if it was true. He confirmed it and asked me how I found out. Apparently, he asked my batchmates not to tell me yet for fear I might have a heart attack and follow Rizza to death! I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I felt numb!

For a while, I couldn’t move. I stood glued to the window, but I didn’t see anything. I felt like I was left hanging without any emotion or feeling. And then, all of a sudden, I burst to tears. And then, I was hysterical. I told my mom and my guy friend what happened. They didn’t know what to say to me. They just looked at each other. I cried and cried. I called Tita Pie (another batch mate). She was crying, too. We cried and cried.

Rizza’s death is another thing that would always make August special to me. This month would always make my memories of Rizza so alive that it feels like she’s still here with us. Rizza was a hero. She died in the line of duty. She was the very first female helicopter pilot of the Philippine Air Force. She was one of the pilots of the helicopter that was sent to rescue a certain vice governor’s mother and some other people whose plane crashed somewhere in the North. They went out in the dead of the night. They could’ve waited for sunlight, but no, they went! Maybe Mr. Death called for them to come to him. The rescue team found the people they went to search for, but sadly they were already dead. The bodies were put in the helicopter so that it became too heavy for the helicopter to carry the weight and so they crashed! That was how we lost our dear Rizza. She was only 28.

Rizza was one of the most beautiful (literally and figuratively) women I’ve ever met. She was tall, graceful, and confident and she had such a nice smile. She was never afraid to say what was in her mind. She was the type of person who automatically commanded respect to those around her. She was a feminist. She didn’t like guys staring at (make that drooling over) women’s body parts. She was very nice, very reasonable and considerate. She had such discipline that I have never, ever seen anybody possess. She was very intelligent (she was, after all, the NCR representative). She was talented, but it didn’t matter to her if she had to take the backseat or if she was just an “extra” in the presentations, dances, songs and all numbers that we had to present.

She was always cooperative; she never complained. She was willing to eat ripe mangoes using nothing but her hands and share them with a friend – me! We would go for the last piece of shrimp tempura and giggle nonstop after. Back in the ship, she would call us in our rooms to remind us what to wear (we had uniforms). She was one of our protocol officers and she was quite strict about the rules, but she was forgiving and even lenient when you had valid reasons for not necessarily sticking to the rules. As she said, there's always an exemption to the rules. And, she'd really stick up for you, too. When she had to refuse something, she expressed it in such a way that you'd never feel hurt or rejected. She, Charo (my SSEAYP best friend) and I always hung out with one another during formations and laughed at the silliest things. She was a sister to us. I always looked up to her. She was a model to us, to me especially. She will always be.

Rizza’s death showed and made me (us) realize how short life is. The time that we’re all together should always be enjoyed and made the most out of because we’ll never know when we’re going to be together again or if we would ever be complete or if we would all be together again. Rizza told some of us that on our wedding days, she’d be willing to fly to our places and drop confetti from her helicopter for us. It was such an exciting idea. And, I’m sure that on my wedding day she’d be throwing the promised confetti… maybe not from her helicopter, but from heaven.

“Live life to the fullest!” was what she’d always write on the notebooks or delegation booklets that were passed for people to sign. And, she sure did live her life to the fullest.

Thank you, Rizza. Thank you for the memories, the friendship, the beauty you shared. Thank you for the lessons you made us learn. Thank you, dear Pilot Rizza (that’s what I called her), for everything. :)