I am sad.


I am sad. I was saddened by something I found out about a few days ago. Not that I didn't have an idea it was coming because I really did. But, when my friend finally verbalized it, I couldn't help but feel bad. Of course, I just laughed it off at first. Deep inside, however, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And, the more I thought about it the more I couldn't understand and the more I felt bad.

I am sad. It hurts when you find out you're wrong about something you've always believed in and/or something you've always held on to so tightly. It hurts when you realize that you are not really as special as you've always thought you were. It hurts when you try your best to adjust so that you don't make people feel uncomfortable only to find out that the more you are actually trying to adjust the more you offend people.

I am sad. I don't really know what to do. I don't think any change of behavior or speech would be nice. I don't think ignoring it would be good either. I don't know what to say or how to act anymore. And, I definitely don't like that.

I am sad. But, I guess I'll just try to let time do what it does best. I'll just wait and see what happens. I'll just try to be happy about all that has passed. I'll just think of the happy times. I'll just smile and pretend I am not affected.

Yeah, I am smiling... but, I really am sad.

********


A message for someone:
Thank you and I'm sorry... for everything. :)


Comments

Balbonics said…
Aww BP, I feel exactly the same way about something that happened to me last weekend, too. Bad trip, but you know what, that's okay. (Don't think anymore!!!)

I came here to say sorry about your kitty cat. And congrats for the new ones. :)
2/01/2006 07:13:00 PM
the caterpillar said…
remember, "this too shall pass". :) be happy after this! :D
2/01/2006 10:44:00 PM
BabyPink said…
hey, thanks guys. somehow, your messages made me smile and feel better, really.:)
2/02/2006 12:21:00 AM
Baby Rockstar said…
Like the fallen genius once sang:

"Let sadness see what Happy does,
Let Happy be where sadness was.."

- Michael Jackson, Happy, circa 70s
2/02/2006 01:28:00 AM
BabyPink said…
salamat, ari aken.:) miyakasinga ako sa kiyapikira ko ki MJ! fallen genius den a osto.:)
2/02/2006 10:54:00 AM
Anonymous said…
Before, I realized that what makes me really sad is not letting the bad things/experiences go off my mind. So i tried humming this...

" So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Smilers never lose
And frowners never win
So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Open up your heart
And let the sun shine in.'


Hope you'll feel better.
*wink*
2/02/2006 12:32:00 PM
BabyPink said…
uy, i like that song. and, i love the way it was sung by frente.:)

thanks, kars.:)
2/02/2006 12:39:00 PM
Anonymous said…
hope it's just a phase and you're no longer sad... neweys, here's a virtual hug from me... *hugs*


-noringai
2/02/2006 01:00:00 PM
Mec said…
am just here if you want to rant about the sadness...

am a little sad too :) but yeah, let's keep on smiling :)
2/02/2006 02:45:00 PM
Anonymous said…
try not to think about it anymore, dangs... and don't worry, soon, all will be well. *hugs*
2/02/2006 04:45:00 PM
BabyPink said…
miss noringai and mec, i'm still a little sad, but i'm better. salamat.:) *hugs you both*

dangs, salamt kaayo... for being there and for listening. means a lot. *hugs back*
2/03/2006 12:34:00 AM
bing said…
whatever it is, i am sorry that it made you sad. but i think you'll get over it sooner than you expect. you are a strong woman, kaya mo yan!
2/05/2006 03:29:00 PM
S.T.P.Peralta said…
=( ayaw na pg sad-sad......
2/05/2006 06:52:00 PM
BabyPink said…
ate bing, thanks for the vote of confidence.:)

lans and maherms, salamat mga dangs.:) i ove you, guys! and, vegetarian chili!!!:)
2/06/2006 03:17:00 AM
Dr. Emer said…
Sana feeling better ka na ngayon. :)
2/06/2006 05:16:00 AM
BabyPink said…
thanks, doc!:)
2/07/2006 12:44:00 PM
Anonymous said…
chin up, you'll feel better!:)
2/07/2006 01:00:00 PM
BabyPink said…
i am better now, ade. salamat.:)
2/08/2006 12:05:00 AM
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