People don't know that...


...I like guns!



I'm not the type who wants to go to war or the type who approves shooting of people or anything, but I have always had this fascination with guns. And, I like them long and big! I love target shooting. I've never really done it in real target shooting ranges, but I've done shooting cans and what-have-yous in private areas/locations. I also enjoy target shooting games at arcades and fairs. There was even this one time my friend and I went to the try-outs for the UP Rifle and Pistol Team just so we could do some shooting. It was really fun and they couldn't believe when I told them that I've actually done some target shooting using real guns back home.

One time, my friends and I went to this area near the lake (Lanao) for some fun, and one of us had a gun with him, so we started looking for cans to shoot. There weren't any other people around so it was alright. When it was my turn, as I pulled the trigger, the bullet casing flew straight to my lower lip. It was hot, but it didn't hurt. That's something I'll never forget because I've seen some people get bad burns due to bullet casing and I was just lucky and thankful that it didn't cause so much of a cut on my lip.

I don't know, but shooting gives me the feeling of being in control. You aim and it really depends on you whether you hit your target or not. You have to be really precise and steady, but you have complete control of the gun. I love the feeling of the recoiling as I pull the trigger. It feels like a complete release of so many things I'd been keeping and carrying around. It gives me the feeling that with the discharging of the bullet, I also get to purge myself of doubts, fears, etc. Unlike other people, I actually feel so relaxed around guns. They don't scare me or anything. A lot of families in my locality love guns, but my family isn't one of those. I don't exactly know where I got this fascination with guns, but I really like them guns! :)


------------


...I am not that strong a person.

People around me always have this notion of me being a very strong person. Sure, I guess I am strong in some ways, but I am not as strong as people think I am. I have weaknesses, doubts, thoughts and issues that people around me would probably never imagine I have. They don't know that I have been broken time and time again. They don't know that I am often scared and unsure. They don't know that I've had continuous bouts with depression over the years. They don't know that when I give that confident smile, inside, I am shaking and struggling to stay on my feet. They don't know how I feel. They don't know my struggles. They don't know my battles. They don't know my insecurities. And, I don't want them to know!

I am happy pretending to be strong. Or, am I really? Strong? Pretending?

------------


Tomorrow (Dec. 12) is my mom's birthday! I'm buying cake and ice cream! Weeee! :)

Happy birthday to the best mom in the whole universe! Mwahugs! :)

Comments

sharima said…
Salam sis, what can i say - taga Mindanao ka nga. hahaha
12/11/2007 11:49:00 AM
balikbayan_box said…
Happy birthday to your Mom!

hmmm i love firing at the firing range hehehe
12/11/2007 05:25:00 PM
Anonymous said…
Ket, you are strong. admitting that you have struggles, you have weaknesses, doubts, etc. -- all these are enough indication that you are strong. :)

when you remain steadfast, hopeful and faithful, you are strong. not merely because you are reliant on your own strengths but because you do recognize that you are not alone in your struggles. that there is a Higher Being guiding you.

i love you Ket! :)

hugs to you.
12/11/2007 06:46:00 PM
Dilip Mutum said…
That's a huge gun you are carrying.

During my Undergraduate day, I joined the army cadets and did some arms training as well. It was exciting then. Now, I am totally against guns.
12/11/2007 10:34:00 PM
Balbonics said…
Heehee, you don't surprise me anymore.

HBD to your mom, enjoy. :)
12/12/2007 02:02:00 AM
Toni said…
Wooooohoooo!

I remember you getting on that gun two Christmases ago sa Paskong Pasiklab!!
12/12/2007 11:40:00 AM
Anonymous said…
Yehey, Ma'am's now back.

I saw that picture before.
Unlike you, guns scare me.
I don't want anything to do with something that could end something just like that. This is not to mean guns alone.

^_______^
12/12/2007 03:30:00 PM
Nel said…
Hahahah! I never knew you love guns bata! Well, we should go shooting one of these days! heheheh Kanus-a kaha? hehehe. Uy, pwede na mag comment sa akong blog. Finally, I figured it out.Hehehe.. Thanks for dropping by always. Miss you! mwah!
12/12/2007 11:48:00 PM
BabyPink said…
anicee, salaam! korek ka diyan, sister!:)

'yez, thank you, thank you! i'd love to try that one day. i have three friends (one from the military) who promised me they'd bring me to the range kaso wa gihapon madayon 'til now.

'ta pie, thanks! love you, too.:)

adam, huge gun, yeah? love it!:)

B,! hehehe:) thanks!

toni, remembet riarik, the monster cat? hahaha!:)

tim, what's important is we are careful when we handle guns. it really is dangerous.:)

bata, maayo, maayo. ikaupat na ka nga mudala sa ako sa range. dapat madayon na gyud, ha!:)
12/14/2007 06:58:00 PM
Baby Rockstar said…
Nari Mranao, ba ta phanimbak? Hahahaha. Mranao kadn a titu. My mother's family is from Lumbatan, so I'm supposed to be into guns as well, ugaid na tanto ako kon a ker-less [careless].

Belated happy birthday to your Moms!
1/17/2008 05:02:00 PM
BabyPink said…
drags! na, maregen so kerless sa timbak ka phamakapatay. hehehe:)
1/18/2008 12:43:00 PM
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