The Ocean of My Being

Listening to the celebratory noise around me- guns, firecrackers, fireworks, shouting and what have you, I can't help but feel sad. The end of the Holy Month of Ramadhan has come. While the Eid'l Fitr is one of the two biggest and most important days that are celebrated in the Islamic world and every Muslim family the world over is happy and excited, there is still that feeling of sadness as we say goodbye to another Ramadhan . Along with all our prayers for peace, for our loved-ones, for our family and friends, for the world, for humanity, and for ourselves, we also vehemently pray that we'd still be around when the next Ramadhan comes. After all, no one can really tell. There is, of course, the thankfulness and gratefulness to God for giving us the Month of Mercy and Blessings . There is the hope that all our sacrifices and good deeds would be accepted by the One for whose service and praise we are doing everything. Usrah (Islamic Discussion), Photo #1 Ramadhan...

How important is reading in my life? Very. Very important. Reading has not only made me the person that I am or always provided me information I need. Reading has saved me not just once, but so many times in so many ways. Reading is like breathing to me. I cannot live without books. I cannot let a day pass without reading. Reading is as important to me as the sun is to plants and the soul is to the body. So, yes, reading is very important to me. It is my key to survival! I think I have written about reading and my affair with books a number of times on this blog. I grew up with books around me. My parents both love reading and they've influenced me a great deal to be the kind of reader that I am. Ever since I was a child, reading has always been a huge part of my life, something that has always been automatic in my system. Happy, sad, lonely, excited, angry, confused, lost, problematic, grateful... whatever my state of mind or emotional state is, I read, read and read. Reading has ...

August 10, 2009... I cannot even begin to write about what happened on that day. Everything is still a blur. All I can think of is that, on that day, I lost the most important man in my life, the man who made me what I am and who I am, the only man that I ever truly loved-- my father. He succumbed to the Big C only four months after the lump he had on the left side of his buttock area was diagnosed as a malignant tumor. I just couldn't believe it. It was too soon. I've always known friends and even cousins who have lost their fathers, and I did feel for them, but I just couldn't relate. I couldn't picture my life without my father. I was confident that my dad would grow old with us up until he's 98, that's what he always said as the age that he would be ready to go because by then everything would have been in order and we'd all have been stable. I never imagined, not even when he got sick, that he'd go thirty years too early. The first time I ...

I found out about Michael Jackson's death from my friend and colleague, Jah . I just came from my class when she mentioned that Michael Jackson had passed away. At first, I thought she was joking. And then, she said that it was all over the news. I was surprised, but I was too busy preparing for my next class that the idea didn't exactly sink in. The days passed, life went on for me, and I kept seeing updates about Michael Jackson's death on the news. Still, it was really hard to believe and I just couldn't get the idea to sink in. Subconsciously, I kept expecting to find out that it was all a joke, that it was another one of Michael Jackson's pranks and that he wasn't really dead. The thing is, I wouldn't exactly claim to be Michael Jackson's #1 fan or anything, but growing up in the '80s and '90s, I would say that he and his music are a huge part of my life. It's impossible for a person my age to not know him and his songs, and even the c...

I was looking for a certain comment one of my friends gave about one of my entries some years ago and I found out that I've lost a LOT of my comments. I don't know if that's really how the blogger comment service works, if they delete comments when your blog reaches a certain number of comments or something. I remember when this blog was still very active (I would have a new entry every week!) and most of my blogger friends were also active, we'd all have 20 to 30+ comments per entry. And, as I was searching for that particular comment, I was surprised that most of my entries during those days now have 0 comments. I am really saddened by this because those comments are reminder of our blogging heyday. Nowadays, blogging has become a little less popular. What with all the services all these new websites and networking websites offer, not to mention the likes of twitter . Well, as for me, I still go hop around all my regular blog reads. I love to read what people (...

Despite everything that's been happening in the Philippines recently, what with the A(H1N1) Virus (Swine Influenza) threat and the Con-Ass bullsh*t, I just can't bring myself to care and be involved. It's not that I don't really care, it's just that so much have happened in the family that I just can't think outside of it. My family has been besieged with one tragic news after another. We've never been in such a roll of bad luck. Sometimes, when something bad happens to you or to any of your loved ones, you start to wonder how and why it has happened to you. Why you? Why do bad things happen to good people? You know and you're sure that you've been good to others, you've done your part to make this world a better place, still sh*t happens to you! Has something gone awry in the karmic cosmos that people who do not deserve bad karma get it while people who deserve it get away? You wonder what you, or any of your loved ones, have done to deserve s...

My life has always been something that most people would refer to as "a bed of roses." Sure, I've had my share of problems and struggles, but nothing that I couldn't really handle or deal with. I've pretty much grown up not really wanting or missing out on anything as my folks have always done their best to give us everything we want and need. My family has had its share of ups and downs, but we've always made it... and with flying colors, if I may say so. Yes, life has been really good. While I am very thankful for that, I can't help but wonder how things would've been if my life weren't as rosy as it were. Would I be a much stronger person? Would I be more courageous and braver? Would I be more "together" in facing what life has just thrown so unexpectedly at me? Would I be less scared right now? Less confused? Less depressed? Would I be able to handle things in a different way? Or is there really any other way that I could ...

I have been getting this 25 Random Things About Me Tag in my Facebook and Friendster accounts and I've been having fun reading my friends' random things , so I decided to play along and have my own list, too. I changed something, though. Instead of having just 25 random things , I decided to make mine 29 because I turned 29 three weeks ago. Hehehe:) Here goes... 1. I'm one of the most impatient people I know. 2. I don't laugh easily when I watch movies or TV shows, but when I do laugh, I laugh like crazy! And, I don't care/mind if I'm the only one laughing. Haha!:) 3. I usually don't care about what others would say, as long as I know I'm not doing anything wrong. 4. I can sometimes be brutally honest. 5. I usually just keep my mouth shut the whole time when I'm with people I don't really like. I just listen, hoping to hear something interesting or something that would make me like them. 6. I am short-tempered. I get mad really easily. But, my...

Weeee! My semester is officially over! Finally!!! I'm really happy that this summer vacation promises a full month or two of rest and relaxation for me. For the first time since I started teaching here in MSU, my request to NOT handle summer classes was approved by our Department Chairperson and our Pre-University Center Director . All's good. I'm pretty psyched up about the vacation. It feels like I've forgotten how vacation feels like. The thing is I have so many things lined up, I don't know where to start. There are so many books I want to read. There are so many things I have to and want to write. There's this blog, of course, that I want to spend more time on, updating and all. There are things and skills I'd like to learn or start learning over the summer. There are lessons and notes I want to update for my classes next semester. There are some researches I need to do. There are many movies and TV Series I'd like to watch. There are places and fr...

Have you ever missed someone so much that everything you see and everywhere you go remind you of that person? You look at a certain thing and you see the person holding it, you go to a certain place and you see the person smiling at you, you walk around a place and you find the person walking with you. It can be overwhelming, I tell you. It can be tough talking to people when all you can think about is this person. It can be tough going about your usual business when all you want to do is just be with the person or see him/her at least. I have always been emotional and sentimental, but I have never imagined myself missing someone this much. I used to find people who said: " you are the air that I breath " ad other such statements too much or weird or maybe even plain stupid. And, now, I think I understand them. So, YOU out there, if you're reading this: hurry back! I miss you terribly! Oh, and, take care! :) ************ Waah, I miss blogging!!!