Chotto matte kudasai...*

These past days, I've been feeling a little sad about some development in the life of one of my best friends, Dean. He's actually my closest guy friend. You see, his family wants him to marry soon. This isn't really new to me (us) because his family (aunts, uncles and mom) have been urging him to choose a girl and have been going around our place searching for the perfect girl for him for a long time now. And, finally, around December of last year, they found her. They told Dean about her and Dean was okay with the idea, but, of course, he had to see the girl first. We joked about the whole thing. Every time he would think of going home to visit his family, I'd tease him endlessly about the possibility of coming back married and all.

Last Friday, I went to see him off at the Centennial Airport. He went home to get away from the heat here in Manila! Again, we joked about his getting married soon. I seriously asked him how he really felt about it and he said he really didn't know. He said he was neither excited nor nervous. But, he said that if he were to decide, he wouldn't marry just yet. He said he wanted to go work abroad first, have his own business and do lots of things first before settling down. He said he really didn't see himself ready for married life yet. I said I understood what he was saying because if I were in his shoes, I'd also probably ask for a two or three year postponement or something.

Later that night, just before midnight, he texted me saying that when he got home, they were all waiting for him and they went to the girl's place to see her and her family. You know, to make things formal and all. He said that the girl's pretty and tall. He also said that his uncles would be talking about the dialaga (engagement ceremony/party) the next day. And, that was when it hit me. All of a sudden, I couldn't stop tears from falling! Oh my God, Dean is REALLY getting married!!! The idea, after all these months, finally sank in! His getting married would mean not hanging out with him anymore, not being able to call him anytime I want to any longer, not being able to make him come whenever I'm down. It would mean losing him, well, sort of losing him. Sure, we can still see him and hang out with him, but it just wouldn't be the same anymore.

All I could hope and pray for right now is for the girl to be nice. If she became a part of our barkada, maybe things wouldn't be that tough. The thought of never being able to hold on to Dean whenever I am caught by surprise, never being able to share a donut, a drink or the same plate with him, never being able to go out alone with him just drives me nuts! I pray that they agree to what he wants to happen, and that is have the dialaga first and have the wedding one or two years from now. That way, all of us should have been ready.

It's all weird, I know, to some people. But, that's how it is in the Meranao culture. When the family decides, one can't do anything about it. I'm really okay with the so-called arranged marriages, but I believe the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be should be given time to prepare themselves for the new life they're going to have. When my time comes, that's all I am going to ask for.

God, as I'm writing this, I just can't help but cry... again. :(

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