I wonder...


Have you ever wondered how it feels not to be able to do things that you like and you enjoy most because of fear... fear that something bad might happen to you at the end of the day?

Have you ever wondered how it feels to be not understood by any other person? Or to have others think they know how you feel when they don't have even the slightest idea what you're going through?

Have you ever wondered how it feels to know the truth and wish that you never did or you just didn't have a clue?

Have you ever wondered how it feels to be helpless and you can't really do much about it?

Have you ever wondered how it feels to want to give everything up, but you know you just can't because you'll hurt people if you do?

Have you ever wondered how it feels to be put in a box where you can barely flex your muscles because, apparently, this is the best thing to do?

Have you ever wondered how it feels to wait for something that might actually be nothing or nothing that might actually be something?

Have you ever wondered how it feels to be uncertain?

Have you ever wondered how it feels to be hurt and know that you actually deserve to be hurt?

Have you ever wondered how it feels to be ME?


Oh, right now, I just wish everything would stop... I wish everything would just end. And, I really wonder how that would feel.

Comments

Teacher Sol said…
BABYPINK, even the richest people in the world have their down days. Cheer up! I can emphatize with you because I've wondered about everything in your list when I was a young girl...but then I thought that life has to go on. I just learned to focus on do something about the things in my control. A lot of things (and people) are beyond my control, I can't do anything about them as much as I would like to... HAY!
9/20/2005 04:16:00 AM
Toni said…
I go through that questioning about once a month. Then I decide that everything I make and create is my choice. Happiness is a choice. Hope is a choice. It's okay to dwell in the dark for awhile, but we all gotta crawl ouuta our holes. I hope you feel better soon. *hugs*
9/20/2005 10:34:00 AM
BabyPink said…
thanks everyone! *hugs back*
9/20/2005 10:52:00 AM
Anonymous said…
Cheer up, olekulay ...it's almost Ramadhan and we should greet it with a happy heart.

In times of difficulties and uncertainties always remember to seek Allah's guidance and you will not fail. "On no soul does Allah place a burden heavier than it can bear."
- Al-Quran 2:286
9/20/2005 11:48:00 AM
Dilip Mutum said…
Hope that everything that's troubling you clears up by ramadhan. As they say, behind the darkest of clouds, there is always a silver lining. Cheer up.
9/20/2005 03:38:00 PM
Dilip Mutum said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
9/20/2005 03:46:00 PM
BabyPink said…
thanks, kuya sam and adam!:)

ramadhan kareem!:)
9/21/2005 12:11:00 AM
Patrick said…
We all have the uncertainties in life. Kahit ako meron rin, sa mga bagay na gusto ko pero hindi ko makuha, and then maging uncertain na rin ako kung kukunin ko ba o hindi. We do have our choices. All are possible if we really push through it.

Hope you'll have a nice week ahead ;)
9/21/2005 09:24:00 AM
S.T.P.Peralta said…
Oh, right now, I just wish everything would stop... I wish everything would just end. And, I really wonder how that would feel. ---> mao sb na ako gina wish karon =( pero di ba, mga diyosa mn ta - ma okay ra lagi ta =)
9/21/2005 09:49:00 PM
BabyPink said…
trick,
mao, mao... salamat, 'dong!:)
lans,
kabalo na baya ka kung unsa gyud ako ganahan mu-end or mu-stop na gyud! ambot kung mahitabo pa na... but, well, guapa lang gihapon so padayon lang!:)
9/22/2005 10:57:00 AM
No Milk Please said…
i think that for the longest time, when i was struggling with my sexuality and wondering what i had done to deserve the suffering that i went through, i just sat there suffereing in silence. until i decided that i was going to do something for myself and to hell with other people thought. and you know, what i found out is that a lot of the suffering was all in my head. i thought i would hurt people, and maybe i did, but it hurt them less than the hurt i did to myself. now, the only thing i wish is that i did it sooner and spared myself the pain. everybody went on with their lives, i was able to go on with mine.

good luck.

no milk please
9/22/2005 10:12:00 PM
BabyPink said…
wow! thanks, paul! i'm happy for you...:) i guess what i'm going through right now is not as bad as what you went through then.
9/23/2005 01:39:00 AM
Baby Rockstar said…
My sentiments exactly. And I think I can imagine what it's like. I live in the same neighborhood.

I can only quote Og Mandino.

"This too shall pass."

And I'm telling you, it shall.
9/26/2005 02:07:00 AM
Anonymous said…
yeah, it's just a phase, it will soon pass. =)

-noringai
9/26/2005 05:33:00 PM
BabyPink said…
salamat, miss noringai and druggie!:)
9/26/2005 11:33:00 PM
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