Streotypes and Judgments...

I like watching talk shows on TV, live or any other way. Any kind of talk show's all right, if you ask me. Maybe it's because I love to talk. Aside from that, I like to listen to other people's ideas and opinions about things. It makes me know them more and gives me some idea as to what kind of people they are. And, I like to hear the host's last words or their take on whatever issue was talked about.

I was watching an episode of The Tyra Show yesterday. I like this show for the variety of issues and topics being tackled. Anyway, in the episode I was watching, the topic was stereotyping. There were 4 people asked to sit as guests and subjects for the project. They were basically just made to sit poker-faced, without saying anything, and 4 other people were also invited to be judges, that is to say whatever they thought of the person just by what they see. What I found really interesting was the choice of people they had as subjects.

The first one was a hijab-wearing American Muslim woman. Hijab is the normal veil that most Muslim women wear, not the one that covers the whole face with only the eyes showing from a slit. That is called the niqab. With this Muslim woman subject, the "judges" said things like she was probably depressed, unhappy, and angry. One, the sole male judge, even said that he just could not separate anger from the veil. So, that means that if he sees someone wearing a veil, that person had to be angry. The Muslim woman admitted that she really had to be extra nice to everyone especially because she works at a coffeehouse. She has to always be smiling and extra nice because those judgments, unfair and baseless as they are, really do come her way everyday just because of her veil. Except for her veil, she looks like your ordinary American woman.

The second subject was a really, really fat woman who was judged as someone who was so lazy, had no job and didn't do anything except sit around the house, eat and watch TV! It turned out that she was actually a very busy woman and she actually had a really important job, being the President/CEO of a successful company that sells plus-sized women's lingerie. The "judges" kept asking her why she, if she was truly that busy, was that fat! She could only laugh at them as they obviously could not imagine what kind of life she had.

Third in the list was a woman who looked to have come straight out of a punk-rock band poster. She had tattoos and piercings all over her body and she had blue hair. She was judged as a drug-dealing, problematic, depressed, dark, suicidal bisexual who obviously lacked self-confidence and who looked like the way she looked because that's the only way she could get the attention she wanted! One of the judges, the only one who had children and the only one who was black among the judges, remarked that she would never have her kids around the blue-haired woman because she was sure that should she allow her kids to be with that woman, the next thing she'd know would be that they'd be doing drugs and all. She even said that an appearance like that was fit only for the circus or at least in the bedroom. Now, the blue-haired woman turned out to be a mother of two kids herself, and a good one at that according to her kids. She's a straight woman and a very intelligent, active professional writer who looked the way she did because it's her way of self-expression and she's most comfortable that way.

And, last but not least, the fourth subject was a black man, who, when seated to be judged, wore this huge, black jacket. He was judged as somebody who probably had a very problematic childhood and a problematic relationship with his family. It was even said that he had lots of guns on him and that he was probably a criminal, the sort who makes one really uncomfortable and cross to the other side of the street just to avoid him. In short, he was said to be a trigger-happy thief/killer and gang member. As it turned out, he was a well-established scholar specializing on psychology.

The 4 judges were: a very well-dressed black woman, a rather scrawny but cute guy, and two perfectly dressed and extremely pretty belles who looked like sunshine personified. They looked pretty much your typical upper middle class Americans. They all said that they didn't have any problems being stereotyped because every other person was entitled to his or her own judgments and opinions like they were. One member of the audience, while sharing his opinion about the matter, said that, these four people may judge the other four who didn't really fall under your typical American look, but, in the same way, to some people these four judges looked pretty sad and boring! One other audience member even said that the guy judge was tragic! And, those comments made the judges almost jump right out of their chairs in disagreement, by the way! So much for being okay about being stereotyped! Haha!:)

This episode of the show really hit something inside me. It made me really think and wonder about myself. I mean, I do try my very best to be as open-minded as possible and I do try to understand people by looking at things through their perspective or understanding where they are coming from, but I also can't help that sometimes I am guilty of stereotyping and judging people by the way they look or maybe sometimes the way they talk. In fact, while watching, I thought the guy judge was stupid and full of himself and he didn't have any right to be arrogant since he obviously had nothing between his ears!

Some words that really struck me were what the Muslim woman said about the judges having no right at all to judge somebody they knew nothing about and what the psychologist said about looking at yourself first before trying to judge other people. Those words really made me reflect about myself and made me realize so many things. According to Tyra Banks, the show's host, it really depends on a person's exposure, too, like when you are exposed to a lot of things, you get to understand a lot of things more and many things become acceptable to you no matter how weird they may appear to others. I agree with her and I'd like to think that I am exposed enough to be open-minded about a whole lot of things. Or at least I'll try to be. That's the decision I made at the conclusion of the episode.

It's funny, too, that I was just talking about gender stereotyping in the Philippines as I was discussing, in my classes, Alejandro Roces' Of Cocks and Hens, a short story that centers on the subject. I was talking to my students about how, here in the Philippines as well as most parts of the world, people are judged by their gender. It's like being put in a box, like if you're male, you have to be in this box and female, in the other. And, if you actually try to work out of the box, it doesn't matter who you are or what you really are, you are considered a freak. That's the sad reality. But, I left them with the question: "So, if one was out of the box or maybe even gay, would that really lessen his or her being a human being? Why is it considered so wrong?"

I may be judged by others because of my veil, my gender, my appearance, my actions, and even my weight. But, I will always keep in mind how not one of them knows anything about me because if they knew me at all, there'd be no judging. People may continue judging me and stereotyping me, I will try to understand and not judge others and I will not mind nor listen to other people's judgments, be they about me or about others. I decide and resolve to be the bigger person. Insha-Allah.