The Ocean of My Being

Maroo 's with me right now. She's in Manila for the Christmas vacation (from yesterday to the 5th of January). I'm just so happy that she's here. She's so much a grown-up now that sometimes I still can't believe she was the same little toddler I had to babysit at times some years back. Sometimes, I just look at her and smile at the thought of that little three-year-old who loved to dress up and pose for cameras. " Oh, how fast time flies! " I can't begin to imagine how our parents feel seeing all of us all grown-up and living lives of our own now. It's, at times, when I just sit staring at my sister that I understand how our parents just can't stop being overprotective and meddlesome. They probably still see us as the helpless six-year-olds we used to be. I still see my sister as such sometimes, okay, most of the time! I just can't help it. I guess having younger siblings, in one way or another, brings out the "mother hen...

I couldn't let this very special day pass without posting an entry. Now, what makes this day special? The Ocean of My Being is exactly two years old today. :) Sometimes, I still cannot believe it's been that long. It feels like it was only yesterday when I started blogging and learning about all these stuff. I thank God for that day, two years ago, when I found Blogger because that day introduced me to the wonderful blog-world where one can easily get lost in. I got lost and officially became a part of the said world and, right now, I don't feel like getting out... well, at least, not yet. :) Mabuhay ang mga bloggers! (Long live bloggers!) ******** The FACES of this blog: The first template I used was, of course, one of the ready-made templates that Blogger had to offer during that time. I remember there were only around 6 or 8 templates to choose from. I got obsessed with improving how my blog looked and making it look more "me" so I tried to fi...

I've always been a soccer fan, but I've always liked watching men or boys kicking ball more than women or girls doing the same. I don't really know why. One of the reasons may be the fact that whenever I watch women or girls playing soccer, I'd always have " Why are they there playing and I'm not? " ringing in my head over and over again. Soccer is my favorite sport and I love everything about it. Unlike some other girls I know, I love soccer not because of all the cute and handsome soccer players the world has. That's definitely a plus factor, though. My love for soccer has its roots back in my grade school days. One of my brothers started playing soccer at the young age of 12, I was only 8 years old then. He'd practice with me and my other brother. So, although I never really played the sport seriously, I practically grew up with it. When I was younger, I never really understood how the game went. All I knew was that soccer was fun to ...

It's been a while since my last entry. I really missed blogging. I couldn't post a new entry not only because I was pretty busy as I'm back to work after a three-week leave, but also because I wanted my sister to see/read the last entry since it's about and for her. I'm not sure if she's read it, though, since she hasn't given me any feedback or reaction yet. Oh well, that's okay. A lot of things have happened since I last posted an entry. On the same day my sister celebrated her birthday, Bok 's grandfather passed away. I got to go to Minalin, Pampanga ( Bok 's hometown) twice to sympathize with the family. The first time, I went with Mommy Minda (my aunt). The second time, I went with Erik and Lachi and we spent the night there so we'd be there for the funeral. It was a new experience for me and a different one, too. It was my first time to actually witness a burial up-close because usually in Muslim burials, only men are allo...

"My friends know so much about you because I talk about you... a lot!" "Whenever I'm caught in some situation, I'd always try to imagine how you'd react or what you'd do if you were in the same situation. That helps." "Hey, that doesn't look good on you!" "Let me fix that..." "What on earth were you thinking? What kind of singing was that?!" -- These are but some of the millions of lines I remember her saying to me. She'd tell me, in brutal honesty, whenever she saw anything wrong with my appearance (clothes, face), my performance (in singing, dancing, public speaking, teaching, etc.). She'd be the first to congratulate me in my little triumphs and achievements. She'd be the first one to fight for me or defend me if and when the situation called for it. She'd be the first to tell me when I'm wrong. She's my biggest support system and my biggest critic! She gets away with things I will n...

My friends and I got back from our Baguio trip yesterday. We got here ( Quezon City ) at around 9:30 in the morning. At around 10:00, I fell asleep and I woke up in the evening! I was dead tired! It was a fun, fun, fun trip! I really loved all the places we went to. It's always nice to go to places just to unwind, relax and look around. And, it's doubly nice when one goes with good friends. Although we never found the cheap second-hand books I've been hearing about, I really enjoyed the whole trip! What made the trip extra special and unforgettable for me was that I spent the Eid'l Fitr (the End of Ramadhan ) there. The Eid , of course, to the Muslims is what Christmas is to the Christians. It's a very special day for families. In my case, since my whole family is back in Mindanao, the next best thing is to spend the Eid with very good friends, and in a place I don't really get to go to often, too. There are actually lots of Muslims in Baguio. Eve...

If you've been reading this blog for more than a year now, you'll probably remember the YOU I blogged about around July last year. ******** Back then, I could best express how I felt for YOU through a few lines and a song. Now that we're through and nothing will ever be the same with us again, here is another song. I know it's a little high school-ish, but, what the heck, it's how I feel. And, did I tell YOU that I am so depressed? I thought I was strong and all; so wrong I was. I said I was okay with everything and I wouldn't cry, but, like Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago , I lied! T.T For YOU ... Nothing Compares 2 U It's been seven hours and fifteen days Since you took your love away I go out every night and sleep all day Since you took your love away Since you've been gone I can do whatever I want I can see whomever I choose I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant But nothing, I said nothing can take away these blues 'Cause no...

Lanee Girl tagged me. She actually tagged everyone in her friends' list. So, since I'm in her friends' list and I found this game quite interesting, here goes... :) The instructions: 1. Go to your archives. 2. Find your 23rd post. 3. Post the fifth sentence or closest to it. 4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog with these instructions. 5. Tag five other people to do the same thing. Mine is: "I do not want to have anymore INCs, for God’s sake!" -- Wow! My 23rd post was actually my birthday post last year (that's March 23rd, 2004). And, the thing is I still incurred some INCs after that. Hehehehe:) Not that it was intentional, I had to leave early the sem after that because it was the time I went to Japan. :) -- Oh-kay! My turn to tag, right? Well, I won't tag anyone in particular. Anyone who wants to play the 23/5 Game is tagged! If no one's interested, then I'm it... for life! ;-P

I saw this quiz from Anicee's blog . I found it very interesting so I took it. And, as I read the result, I couldn't help but nod in agreement. Indeed, this one pretty much hit home! :) --- Dominant Personality : Calm Good Traits : You prefer to be exclusive, limiting yourself to only a few good friends that you've probably known for a long time. You don't date around either; you settle down with one guy, and you never get used to heartbreak. Bad Traits : You're someone who doesn't want to be bothered with everyone else's problems. You'd rather kick back and enjoy life at a slow pace. You tend to fall behind and procrastinate from being too laid back. People see you as : Shy, slow to catch on, and a daydreamer. People think you're in your own little world and are tentative to approach you. You're Most Like : Fear. You distance yourself from the people who aren't in your circle. The difference is that you aren't paranoid about this...

Yesterday was the first day of Ramadhan . As always, the coming of the Holy Month gave me and continues to give me a certain feeling of contentment and happiness. I always feel that Ramadhan really cleanses my whole being. I don't really know how I can explain this, but Ramadhan has never failed to give me peace of mind. This may be the effect of not thinking any "bad thought" while fasting. It makes me feel good and at peace with the world. I've said this time and again, and I'll say it once more, Ramadhan really brings out the best in me. It just feels so great. I guess I am speaking for every Muslim when I say that I am just so happy that I'm still here to enjoy Ramadhan and that I'm still strong enough to perform the obligatory sacrifice and abstinence during this month. If there's one thing that I really long for right now, it's home. I really miss home. I miss praying with my family, friends and the whole community at the King F...

Have you ever wondered how it feels not to be able to do things that you like and you enjoy most because of fear... fear that something bad might happen to you at the end of the day? Have you ever wondered how it feels to be not understood by any other person? Or to have others think they know how you feel when they don't have even the slightest idea what you're going through? Have you ever wondered how it feels to know the truth and wish that you never did or you just didn't have a clue? Have you ever wondered how it feels to be helpless and you can't really do much about it? Have you ever wondered how it feels to want to give everything up, but you know you just can't because you'll hurt people if you do? Have you ever wondered how it feels to be put in a box where you can barely flex your muscles because, apparently, this is the best thing to do? Have you ever wondered how it feels to wait for something that might actually be nothing or nothing that might ac...

Ah, I missed blogging! I've finally gone back to work on the 1st (of this month). My job makes me want to go nuts and all sometimes, but I really do enjoy it. After being on-leave for almost two weeks, I really missed the sessions and the people. The Japanese admin staff are a little stricter now and I think it's all good. I have no problems with following rules as long as they're reasonable. It's very busy mornings and Mondays for me again.:) The semester is also nearing its end. This means that papers to be written are piling up at the moment. I have three papers to write and a final exam for one course. And, thing is my professor is not one to accept mediocrity in papers and answers. Plus, I still have to submit three other papers to two other professors. Now, as usual, I'm still waiting for inspiration! Waaah! :( If there's one thing that excites me to no end right now, it's Ramadhan ! Ramadhan will fall on October this year. How fast time ...

I was tagged by Anicee . It's the timeline tag. ( Sorry, sis, it took me this long to answer this one. I didn't have my PC with me for a few days, eh. ) Okay, here goes... TWENTY YEARS AGO. In 1985, I was a very shy and quiet 5-year-old girl. I was in kindergarten (at Dansalan College). I don't remember that much about my very first year in school. Maybe that's because I never really found kindergarten interesting because, the loner that I was, I didn't really have friends. I just sat in my place the whole time and didn't really talk to anyone. When playtime came, I remember I didn't even bother taking a single toy from the toy cabinet. I didn't really find the lessons that exciting either because, having older brothers I studied with even before I first set foot in the classroom, I already knew most of the things being taught. I was already reading "kiddie words" (short and simple words) when my classmates were learning their ABCs. F...

One night, I was comfortably lying in bed, totally engrossed in a book, when in the silence I suddenly heard the soft sound of wings flapping. Knowing it was some insect or worse a flying cockroach, I quickly jumped out of bed armed with my Baygon (insect-killing formula)! I stood still waiting for the thing to make its presence felt again. It felt like time stood very still with me. And then, suddenly, I heard it again so I jumped and sprayed like crazy. The thing was actually a really big bug that looked very much like a cockroach. Relieved when I saw it fall to the floor, I slowly went to take a closer look. I saw that the thing was on its back with all its feet (3 pairs) raised up to the air as if begging for help. As I got closer, I noticed that it was actually struggling and fighting for dear life. I felt really sorry but it was too late, I've already sprayed (too much, too) on it and it was slowly dying. I continued looking at the little thing because, for some unkn...

I got this "questionnaire" from my email. Answering it was fun. Since there's been so many surveys and questionnaires going around in the blogworld, I decided to post this one in my blog and spread it as well. :) So, for this one, I'm tagging: -- Anicee -- Ayeza -- Mami Che -- Laureen ******** Your complete name: -- Diandra-Ditma Aguam Macarambon Interests: -- Islam, Literature (all genres), Culture (especially the Meranao culture) and People, Languages, Travel, Arundhati Roy, Soccer, Basketball (especially UAAP), The Internet, Figure Skating (just watching; i do skate, but i really don’t do fancy stuff), Musicals/Plays, Instrumental Music, anything/everything Pink, Asian stuff, Animals (especially cats and dolphins), Food, and last but not least, anything/everything about Japan! Oh, and my men: David Trezeguet, Maksim Mrvica, Hideaki Takizawa, Takuya Kimura, Ken Hirai, Hiroyuki Sanada, Denzel Washington, Orlando Bloom, Prince William (of Wales), Ken Zhu (of F...

I got this from Toni ! Number of books on the shelves: Where I'm currently staying: I only have a study table in my dormitory room, no shelf. I have around 15 books on the table. I have my other books in two balikbayan boxes; I have some books on the floor as well. :) Back home: My book shelf is full (I don't know how many books I have there) and then I have another box full. :) Those that I own/bought: Maybe around 300 or more (academic ones not included). :) 5 last books that I bought: 1. Lualhati Bautista 's "Gapo" 2. L. M. Montgomery 's "Anne of the Island" 3. Carol O'Connor 's "Mallory's Oracle" 4. Rebecca Wells ' "Little Altars Everywhere" 5. Arundhati Roy 's "The God of Small Things" Book/s I’m reading now: Paulo Coelho 's "The Pilgrimage" Last 5 books read: 1. J. K. Rowling 's "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" 2. Rolando Tinio 's "A Matter of Langu...

I feel pretty good. It seemed like the past weeks actually exhausted me, what with my job, graduate school and my "new career" as a serious cheerer/fan of the UP Fighting Maroons and the Ateneo Blue Eagles in the UAAP 68th Season . I haven't missed a single game of both school teams. There was even one time I went to the games by myself because my other UAAP friends couldn't make it. These games actually keep me sane and they've become my instrument for de-stressing . I get really stressed in some games, though. But, it's the kind of stress that's not really that bad or that wouldn't add lines or wrinkles on my face or anything. The games are really fun!:) My baller IDs... they're part of my "uniform".:) ******** Being always tired and all, my body's resistance to 'common diseases' considerably decreased so that I had another bout with gastritis and had some allergic reaction to some things (salmon that wasn't...

Being a Muslim in the Philippines can be tough. Without even knowing who you are, you can be subjected to discrimination, that range from slight to really bad, just because of the name you carry or something that you wear (the kombong (veil) for women and the kopya or the tableegh outfit for men). Honestly, I have always been more oblivious than conscious of the 'slight discrimination' that I’ve so far been subjected to as a Muslim based in Manila. I usually would just keep my calm or come back at people with jokes when I experience being treated like someone so stupid or someone who has no feelings at all. I would always try my best to stay as cool as I can by reminding myself that I know better than the kind of people who discriminate. Also, sometimes, I see that it is not really hatred that makes them do such things that inevitably insult me, it is actually sheer ignorance. Some people just don’t know anything. I do admit, though, that there are times when I can’t h...

I've been a citizen of the blog world for more than one year and a half now. All this time, I've been reading and hopping from one blog to another. I have read many a different view about various events, issues and people. I have always enjoyed reading what other people actually think about certain things. I have learned a lot, too. And, like every single blogger in the world, I also have ideas and opinions of my own. These ideas and opinions may differ from that of others, but I don't really think this makes them (my ideas and opinions) any less, in sense and value, than others'. This is also what I think whenever I read opinions and ideas that are so different from mine. I always tell myself, " to each his own. " This also holds true in the "real" world. There will always be people who will see or view things in a way far different from one's own. It is always good to keep " to each his own " in mind. But, then again, there...

This month started really nice for me. Work's been okay, school's great and my interest in both has continuously been increasing. I haven't been having enough sleep, but that's all right. I'm actually getting used to that. I've been enjoying all the assigned readings, too. My CL 240 ( Asian Literature ) readings has awakened my " Asian-ness " more than ever. Asian culture is just great. I love being Asian! :) Days are nice and happy. I feel peaceful and I am just in love with life right now. May this feeling last... :) ******** Stories... July 1 : --This day was very special because it was Tita Pie 's wedding. It was a really nice wedding. Very intimate. Tita Pie and Paps were obviously in cloud nine. It's always nice to see couples who are so happy being together. I was (am) really happy for them, especially for Tita Pie because I know that this was what she's been waiting and praying for. Seeing her so happy and grinn...

June means a lot to me because this month reminds me how blessed I am to have some very special people in my life. Now, before this month ends, I'd like to write about two of the most important men, in my life, who make June such a special month. First, of course, is my father. June would always remind me of him because Father's Day is in June. Second, my Kuya Rashid . He was born on June 9, so June will always be his month. Abi Kulay... * I (we) call my (our) dad Abi . Abi is the Arabic term form "my father". Abi has been a huge figure in my life. Basically, everything that I am is influenced by Abi (and my mom, too), from the way I look at the world as a whole and my attitude towards people to the things I like. Abi is not your typical Meranao dad. Yes, he's strict and all, but he allows us to actually decide for ourselves and also leaves us to learn through experience. He gives us the freedom to try things that other Meranao kids can only dream of...

In 3s I was tagged by Lanee . Three names you go by: 1. Diane 2. Olilie 3. Diandra Three screen names you have had: 1. BabyPink 2. DianeWills 3. Sisa Three physical things you like about yourself: 1. Hands 2. Hair 3. Skin Three physical things you don't like about yourself: 1. Feet 2. Tummy 3. Extra weight! Three parts of your heritage: 1. Meranao 2. Bangsamoro (Muslim Filipino) 3. Arab-Malay Three things that scare you: 1. To fail my loved-ones 2. Natural disaster 3. To die not a good Muslim Three of your everyday essentials: 1. Sweets 2. A good book (a few pages at the very least) 3. Prayers Three of your favorite musical artists: 1. Maksim (The Piano Player) 2. Jewel 3. APO Hiking Society Three of your favorite songs: 1. "I Believe I Can Fly" ( R. Kelly ) 2. "On My Own" (from Les Miserables ) 3. "Constant Change" ( Jose Mari Chan ) Three things you want in a relationship: 1. Respect 2. Understanding 3. Love (4. Trust) Three lies and truths in ...

I love my feet! I have been playing badminton for some time now. Uhm, when I say playing, I mean just playing for fun. Not seriously playing or anything. Last Saturday, I went to the SIP (SSEAYP Alumni Association) Weekly Badminton with my friends, Bok , Erik and Lachi . We finally saw Drew there after not seeing him for a long time. It was bound to be a great, fun night. I was really looking forward to playing again as I missed the last badminton get-together. Before leaving the dorm, I drank around one liter of water and did my stretching in advance. I was really, really excited! We got to the court at 8 o'clock in the evening. We were having so much fun playing and laughing at our mistakes when about five minutes into the game, I jumped to hit the shuttlecock, which was obviously beyond my reach, and landed twisting my ankle. I was still laughing as I fell on my butt, but I knew it was going to be bad as I heard a crunch from inside my skin. I tried getting up and ...