18 November 2006
I am so mad at myself right now!
Every single time my big, bad, stupid mouth works against me, I promise myself that I will never allow my mouth to get the better of me again! I always promise myself that I will always be careful not to say anything that might cause any person to think badly of another person. I don't know, but I just never seem to be able to keep my promise! And, I do try! I swear I do!
The last time I had a problem with my big mouth, I was so disappointed with myself that I didn't know what to do or what to think. A friend of mine misunderstood something I said and took it against another friend. It was an honest comment/opinion. I never meant for things to go bad. Because of a little comment that I made about something I was asked about, two friends of mine almost had a fight! With that still fresh in my mind, you'd think I've learned my lesson, right? Oh, but no!
I recently mentioned a favor a colleague asked of me to a very good friend of mine. My friend took it badly! She was all about saying I was taken advantage of and my feelings were not considered! I actually thought that weird because I, myself, didn't feel that way at all. But, my friend, the caring person that she is, is just about to claw my colleague's eyes out anytime because of the stupid favor! My God!!!
The whole time my friend was talking about how she could make my colleague miserable, I was feeling stupid. I wished and wished that I didn't open my mouth! My big mouth, once again, won over me and actually let me down! Right now, I'm actually thinking how weird it is that I'm talking about my mouth as if it was some kind of monster or villain that's out to get me! I can't help it. I'm so mad at myself! Hay! :(
There are times when we just have to keep our mouths shut! No matter how innocent or well-meaning a comment can be, another person just might take it negatively! It really doesn't help that I'm not one to actually stop myself from telling somebody the truth, too! I usually tell the truth to people's faces. I have no problems doing that, but I just don't like it when I cause ill feelings between two people! I really hate that! And, now it has happened again!
Also, I believe that I cannot be the good Muslim that I want to be if I don't have control over my big, bad, stupid mouth! It was said in one of my favorite khaatib (sermons) that the mouth is one of the things that can actually send a person straight to hell when s/he dies! I totally agree. Even if you don't believe in religion, I think you'd know what I mean because it sure feels like hell to cause trouble just because you couldn't keep your mouth shut!
Hmph! I'm zipping it... now!