The Ocean of My Being

I am so mad at myself right now! Every single time my big, bad, stupid mouth works against me, I promise myself that I will never allow my mouth to get the better of me again! I always promise myself that I will always be careful not to say anything that might cause any person to think badly of another person. I don't know, but I just never seem to be able to keep my promise! And, I do try! I swear I do! The last time I had a problem with my big mouth, I was so disappointed with myself that I didn't know what to do or what to think. A friend of mine misunderstood something I said and took it against another friend. It was an honest comment/opinion. I never meant for things to go bad. Because of a little comment that I made about something I was asked about, two friends of mine almost had a fight! With that still fresh in my mind, you'd think I've learned my lesson, right? Oh, but no! I recently mentioned a favor a colleague asked of me to a very good friend of...

Oh-kay! My semester is officially over. I submitted my grades last Monday. It was a wonderful semester. I was so busy that I could barely take time to breathe, but it was a fun-filled semester for me. I am just hoping that my students won't forget the things we learned in our classes. I, too, learned a lot. I learned a lot from my students and I learned a lot about myself. There were many things that I didn't think I could handle, but I was able to. I believe that every single day that passed these past months made me stronger. And, I have teaching to thank for that! When people found out that I was going to teach, some were happy and some disappointed, even horrified! - "Wow! That's great! You'll make a good teacher!" - "Hay, kailangan ng kabataan natin ang mga tulad mo! It's good that you decided to teach!" (Oh, our youth need people like you!) - "Ay, teacher lang?! Sayang naman ang utak mong 'yan!" (A teacher?...

Hello everyone! I have been so busy these past weeks that I just haven't had the time to go visit any of the Net centers here. Mid-August up to the first half of September totally flew with me hardly noticing the days and time. I had so many things to do and I feel that that period had basically been my baptism of fire at the Department. Whew! I will write about everything... soon. I just wanted ro say hi to everyone. Hehehe:) Oh, and Ramadhan has once again come. Ramadhan kareem!

I am down. I am very sad. No, this has nothing to do with my current job. My sadness is a result of some things that have been going on in the world of football/soccer. In all the years that I've been a soccer fan, this is one of my lowest points. First, the French (my team) lost in their World Cup Championship Game against the Italians. I was sad, but it was okay because I don't really hate the Azzurri (Itlaian team). I really wanted Les Bleus (French team) to win, though. I was actually one of the few who were happy for the French's victory against the Brazilians in the Semi-Finals. Oh, and right now, I have nothing to say about Zidane's "grand exit." Bow. And then, today, I went to the Net Center to check the news about the match-fixing scandal in Italian Football, where my favorite team, Juventus , is a part of. Indeed, the verdict is out. Juve and two other teams ( Lazio and Fiorentina ) are relegated to Serie B (Italy's Second Divisi...

Weeeee! I'm back!!! :) This has been my longest hiatus from the internet world, and I didn't even plan it. I've just been sooo busy that I didn't have time to go visit our internet cafes. I guess I've become so used to having internet access in my own room (like in Manila). And, the schedule of my classes barely leaves me time to breathe. But, I'm enjoying every moment. :) I am now teaching here in MSU. It has always been my dream to be part of the English Department of this university so you can just imagine how happy I was when I got accepted in the Department. The screening was really tough and I can't thank God enough that I actually made it. When the department chairperson gave me the courses and sections I was to be handling, I almost cried. It was one of the happiest moments of my life! It is true that I've taught in this university for years, but I was with the Pre-University Center. Now, I am with my home department . I am exactly wher...

Anj tagged me. Salamat, Anj! :) Simple Pleasures of Life Instructions: Name ten of life’s simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick ten people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used. 1) curling up with a good book 2) feeling the drops of water from the shower as they touch my skin 3) discovering or learning about something new or something that i didn't know a single thing about 4) sitting alone just watching people and/or things around me 5) receiving a letter (snail mail) from friends and family 6) finding a book i've been looking for for the longest time at a book sale (especially if the book's in crisp condition) 7) playing with cats 8) exchanging stories with my sisters and my brothers 9) bonding with my mom and/or my dad 10) having an interesting conversation I tag: Not ten people, but anyone (especially from my Into Blogging section) who takes pleasure in the simple things.

After living in Metro Manila for almost five years, the time has come for me to bid the place goodbye. My stay in this big, busy metropolis has come to an end. I've always known it was just temporary, but I just can't help but feel a little sad. After all, this place has been home for the past four and a half years. I've always hated goodbyes and the fact that I'd be saying goodbye to this place is just around the corner doesn't make me too happy. Sure, I'm excited to go back home where I truly belong, but Metro Manila, after all these years, has slowly become a part of me, a part of who I am now, so that I feel like I'll be leaving a big part of me behind when I leave. I'm happy to finally be able to move on to another chapter in my life; part of me wants to just hold on and stay. Sure, I will still visit Manila and see my friends from time to time, but it just won't be the same. I'd be a visitor, an alien in the city. I won't be pa...

It feels like it's been years since I last blogged. Our internet connection here has been quite erratic these past days so I haven't been on-line as much as I used to. I've also been catching up with my reading and doing a lot of "thinking" lately that there's hardly any time for me to actually go on line. Also, I've been writing a lot in my "written" journal. That one's more personal (or should I say too personal compared to this one) than my blog. Writing in my journal serves as my refuge when I don't know what to do or when I don't understand things happening around me any longer and when I just need to let my feelings out. I've never been the type of person who would actually bare everything to another person, be s/he my closest friend or a member of my family. Having a journal really helps me a lot. There are times when there are a million and one ideas and thoughts in my mind that if I don't get down to write them,...

Last Monday was the 12th day of Rabi ul-Awal in the Hijri (Islamic) Calendar. It was my sister's Hijri birthday and, more especially and importantly, it was the 1480th anniversary of the birth of the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) . This day is called Maulidan Nabi in Arabic. It is a very special day, but we do not really celebrate it. What we do is try to look within ourselves and see how much of a guide and model the Prophet is to all of us as we live our days. The day is spent, as much as possible, in remembrance of the Prophet. I would like to share my most favorite story about the Prophet. It is said that the Prophet respected life in all forms. He was the perfect personification of kindness and benevolence. One of the facts known about him was that he liked cats and he actually had a pet cat. There was this one time, it is said, that he was about to perform salat (prayer) and, as he was about to get his praying carpet, he saw that a cat was sleeping on the carpet. Of...

Silence Words. People said, " You have the gift of words! " That was long ago. Words. Give me them And I would give you poems, Stories and songs. Words. My good friends. With them I was at ease. That was long ago. Words. They fail me. As I sit watching you, All words are lost. Words. They, it seems, Are all you need right now. I find them not. Words. I beckon. In mid-air, they stay and I sit in silence.

Waaaah! I have been really busy, so I haven't had time to blog. There's been so many things that I had to do and accomplish the past days. And, yes, bloghopping was one of them! Hehehe:) I've been meaning to write about nasheeds (Islamic religious songs) ever since I got addicted to them in December of last year. I have been listening to almost nothing but nasheeds these past months. I really love them and I love the way the songs propagate the true meaning of Islam and what it really is like to be Muslim. There are many nasheeds that make me cry. There are nasheeds that make me feel guilty and/or scared of death. There are some that make me reflect about my life and about the world. There are some that make me ponder and wonder. There are some that make me feel so thankful and blessed. There are some that never fail to make me feel proud. There are some that make me smile. All in all, nasheeds warm my heart more than any other type of music or song I list...

I finally lost my APO virginity on the evening of March 11, 2006! It was such a great experience, definitely something I will never, ever forget! To see the APO Hiking Society perform in person was one of my greatest dreams and was in my list of 25 Things I Want To Do Before I Die . I finally got to see them and all I can say is that they are THE BEST and I love them more (I never thought I could love them more than I already did). I was just so happy that I cried. About a week and a half ago, I actually lost my wallet where I had my money, my ID, some cards, some pictures, and my APO Experience ticket. I was just so sad and frustrated. I never found or got my wallet back, but I was able to get a certification from Ticketworld so that I could still go and watch the concert. Happiness!!! "Kapanahunan na naman ng paglalambingan At kasama kitang mamasyal sa kung saan. Kabilugan ng buwan At ang hangin ay may kalamigan, Aakapin kita, mahal ko, sa buong magdamag!" ---- T...

I had coffee with Ala the evening before Pres. Macapagal-Arroyo issued Proclamation No. 1017 which declares the Philippines to be in a state of national emergency. And, no, I'm not going to talk about this proclamation in this blog because I will just end up feeling sad and upset. Hay, Pilipinas! Instead, I'd like to talk about one of the things that Ala and I talked about. We were actually talking about her plans when she gets to Australia and her plans for the future. She asked me what my plans were and my automatic response was " go back to Mindanao. " She asked what I planned to do when I finally get to go back. " Teach, " I replied. She expressed her want/hope to actually devote some time in her life to teaching. She thought it'd be nice. I told her that, right now, I actually cannot and do not see myself going into a career other than teaching. I know that teaching may not be the most well-paying job in the world, especially not in this...

It's been a while since I last took a personality quiz from the Internet. I found a few interesting ones and took them. Here are some of the results I got. :) ---- You Have Your PhD in Men You understand men almost better than anyone. You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well. Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful. How Well Do You Understand Men? -- i've always been one of the boys... :) ******** You Are A Woman! Congratulations, you've made it to adulthood. You're emotionally mature, responsible, and unlikely to act out. You accept that life is hard - and do your best to keep things upbeat. This makes you the perfect girlfriend... or even wife! Are You A Girl Or a Woman? -- i'm not a girl... i AM a woman! *to the tune of britney spears' song* ******** Not a Jealous Bone in Your Body You're secure, trusting, and giving with friends and lovers. And while you may have been hu...

First, it was the Wowowee Stampede at the Ultra . Hearing the news depressed and shocked me. I couldn't understand why or how it happened. A lot of people have shared their opinions and ideas about the tragedy. Here and there, accusing fingers were pointed to this and that person and/or company. Some say ABS-CBN was to blame, the Ultra management, the police or the people themselves. Some blamed poverty, some greed, and some the government and President Macapagal-Arroyo ! Some say it was lack of discipline. I know that someone or some people have to take responsibility for what happened. But, I believe that it is high time we, Filipinos, stop blaming one another and just try to help and do what we can for one another. Let's try to look at what happened and try to understand what it was telling us. While doing that, let's do away with barking at one another because that doesn't help at all. Two evenings after the very sad incident, my friends and I were wat...

I am sad. I was saddened by something I found out about a few days ago. Not that I didn't have an idea it was coming because I really did. But, when my friend finally verbalized it, I couldn't help but feel bad. Of course, I just laughed it off at first. Deep inside, however, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And, the more I thought about it the more I couldn't understand and the more I felt bad. I am sad. It hurts when you find out you're wrong about something you've always believed in and/or something you've always held on to so tightly. It hurts when you realize that you are not really as special as you've always thought you were. It hurts when you try your best to adjust so that you don't make people feel uncomfortable only to find out that the more you are actually trying to adjust the more you offend people. I am sad. I don't really know what to do. I don't think any change of behavior or speech would be nice. I don't t...

These days, I feel like I am besieged by wedding talk. Wherever I go, there's some wedding planning going on. Whether it's in the blog world or in the "real" world, wedding talk is just everywhere. I have friends who have gotten married recently and many more who are actually getting married soon. The first one for this year will be held this Saturday. Unfortunately, I can't make it as I have work the whole day. ( Sorry, Pia ! ) The next wedding will be next Saturday. And, these are just the ones that are going to be held in Metro Manila for just this month. Whew! It's actually pretty exciting to hear and read about friends' plans for their weddings. Erik the Sib remarked that planning for her wedding is actually one of the most exciting parts of a woman's life. " It's the one day in her life, " he said, " where she's the boss and everything is done the way she wants it. " From invitations to the entourage's ...

Hay, 2006! May this year be a good one! :) I read somewhere that it really depends on the person how s/he wants the year to be. If one thinks and believes that the year will be a good one, then it will surely be a good one. So, this is what I'm going to do. I am going to make this year a really good one by being positive! I guess it's all in the attitude and how we take things, right? :) The year started out great for me. I welcomed the new year with two of my sisters, my aunt and one of my closest friends. We weren't allowed to go out so we watched the fireworks from the window and went crazy dancing and jumping around. It was fun, fun, fun for all of us. And, the first day of the year? We spent it watching TV and just lazing around the place. Hehehe:) My parents came on the 5th so we had a belated celebration of the coming of the new year. It was really bonding time for me and my sister and our parents. We went around Metro Manila together. It was such a hap...