The Ocean of My Being

I have a close friend who got married recently and she asked for a very weird wedding gift, that is, she asked me to write her vow. I've actually known her before she met the love of her life, so she said it'd be a piece of cake for me to write it. But, vows are supposed to be very personal. Not even the best writer in the world could match the words that actually come straight from the heart. I told her that. But, there was no changing her mind. She told me that it was the only gift she wanted (read: demanded) and she's not going to take no for an answer. Therefore, I had no choice. I asked her how she felt for her "baby" so that I could just get the feel and attempt to write as if I was actually the one feeling it. Being thousands of miles away didn't exactly help. Or did it? After some meaningful exchanges, I came up with something and she liked it (in her exact words and spelling, she looooved it soooo much! ). Despite being a little lengthy, she promised ...

It's been 4 days since Christmas Break started. What have I been doing? Well, for most of the time, I've been sitting and lazing around at home as I was sick for the first two days. I think it's my body telling me to just slow down because I'm not as young as I used to be. When I was younger, er, younger than I am right now, I was so used to immersing myself completely in things that I needed to work on. I could go for one whole week with only 3.5 hours (that is 30 minutes of sleep every night). I could go on for three straight days without a single minute of sleep. That was the kind of life I led. But, now, it seems like age is taking its toll on me. Fatigue and exhaustion have caught up with me. And, until now, I find it weird and unbelievable that I can't even last 2 straight days of no sleeping without getting sick or sleeping the whole day on the third day. Now, I understand what my seniors used to tell me, savor your youthful strength and do the most out of it...

After 8 days in Thailand, I came back home exactly a week ago. I've been pretty busy making up for lost time, working on some things I missed when I was away and writing the reports I need to submit. And, because of all these things I've had to work on all at the same time, plus my classes, I've come down with a fever and really bad colds and cough. Oh, but despite, feeling under the weather and all, the trip was all worth it and I've learned so much and gained new life-long friendships. And also, I got to see my beloved Thai foster family, with whom I stayed with nine years ago when the Ship for Southeast Asian Youth Program brought me and 300 other youth participants to Thailand. Seeing my Thai family again was one of the reasons why I was so excited to take the trip. All in all, I can say that the whole trip was truly fruitful. It was fun, educational, enriching, unforgettable, relaxing, and really heart-warming for me. It was definitely something I needed. I enjoye...

Alhamdulillah. Praise be to God. I am now in Bangkok, Thailand for a 5-day Young Asian Muslim Women Leadership Training Workshop. I got here last night and it feels good to be back here after all these years. I am excited about the Workshop, especially after meeting some of the participants (some haven't arrived yet). It's always nice and interesting to meet young Muslim women who are, in their own way, empowered. We are all so different, yet so much the same. So far, there are 10 (2 from Iran, 2 from Burma, 2 from Thailand, 1 from Pakistan, 1 from Bangladesh, 1 from Cambodia, and myself) of us who are now here. We are still expecting more. At breakfast, we casually discussed some issues concerning some Asian countries and the West. It was nice and I could see that we are all united in wanting the region to prosper and reach its full potential. There were some sensitive issues that were mentioned and made two of our co-participants a little emotional. I could feel how much bot...

The new semester officially starts on Monday. Just this afternoon, I had my class masterlists printed. I'm ready to roll!!! :) I'm hoping my classes will be as interesting, if not more interesting, both for me and my students as the previous semesters. I am handling a major subject for the first time and, while I am a little bit nervous, I can't wait to start. English 150 , whose course description is Survey of World Literature , was one of my favorite subjects back in my undergraduate years. I remember how exciting it was for me. We discussed Homer's The Iliad and The Odyssey , Virgil's Aeneid , Dante Alighieri's The Divine Comedy (I remember our reporter almost fainting when she found out that we were to discuss all three books: Paradiso , Purgatorio , and Inferno !), Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's Faust , Miguel de Cervantes' Don Quixote and some other famous literary classics of world renown. And, of course, how can I forget my report-- One Thousand...

I was reading some of my old entries as I was looking for a particular entry I needed and I realized how much I miss blogging on a regular basis. Back in the day, I used to blog every week (even twice a week sometimes). Those were the days when many people were so into blogging. I found many blogs of interest that I religiously followed. I made many friends through blogging. At first, we were basically just online buddies, but later on some became my "real" friends. Those were good times, really. Nowadays, fewer and fewer people are into blogging. Because of all these network sites and busy schedules probably, people have become too lazy to blog or just simply don't have time to blog. And, I also noticed that because of all the status updates and tweeting, readers have also become too lazy to read long entries. I don't know, but I, for one, like reading blog entries more than the short updates that are very much in fashion these days. I enjoy reading the thoughts, opi...

Weeee! The semester's officially over! I've submitted my grades yesterday. And, finally, I get to rest and relax! I get two days of rest and Admissions for the next semester starts! Even if I feel so tired, I can't wait for the new semester to start. I don't know. That, I guess, is the irony of my life. I complain I don't get enough rest, but give me more than two days of rest and I can't wait to start working again. Hehe:) As with every semester that passes, I'll miss all my classes and my students. At the same time, I can't wait to meet the new sets of students in my classes next semester. I can't wait to have interesting class discussions and learn newer and fresher ideas. Those are two of the reasons why teaching is such an enjoyable job. I think I've mentioned in this blog before how people may think or perceive teaching to be a boring job that has you, the teacher, doing exactly the same thing every single day, every single week, every si...

How time flies! The semester is about to end and it feels like it was only a week ago that we started. It's true what they say: the older you get, the faster time flies for you. It's because you have so much to do in so little time so you barely notice how time flies. This has been true to me ever since I graduated from college. And, back then, I used to think I'd have all the time for myself and to do so many things I never got to do when I graduate. Now, I realize that it's the opposite. I had so much more time to spare as a student. After all, I only had my readings, my requirements, my classes and some extra curricular activities here and there to think about. It's weird how, during this busiest of times for me, I get to blog. I've always been like that, you see. The more things I need to do, the better I function. And, right now, I have so much to do (and that's aside from all the things I usually have to do) I don't know where to start! So, expect ...

Listening to the celebratory noise around me- guns, firecrackers, fireworks, shouting and what have you, I can't help but feel sad. The end of the Holy Month of Ramadhan has come. While the Eid'l Fitr is one of the two biggest and most important days that are celebrated in the Islamic world and every Muslim family the world over is happy and excited, there is still that feeling of sadness as we say goodbye to another Ramadhan . Along with all our prayers for peace, for our loved-ones, for our family and friends, for the world, for humanity, and for ourselves, we also vehemently pray that we'd still be around when the next Ramadhan comes. After all, no one can really tell. There is, of course, the thankfulness and gratefulness to God for giving us the Month of Mercy and Blessings . There is the hope that all our sacrifices and good deeds would be accepted by the One for whose service and praise we are doing everything. Usrah (Islamic Discussion), Photo #1 Ramadhan...

How important is reading in my life? Very. Very important. Reading has not only made me the person that I am or always provided me information I need. Reading has saved me not just once, but so many times in so many ways. Reading is like breathing to me. I cannot live without books. I cannot let a day pass without reading. Reading is as important to me as the sun is to plants and the soul is to the body. So, yes, reading is very important to me. It is my key to survival! I think I have written about reading and my affair with books a number of times on this blog. I grew up with books around me. My parents both love reading and they've influenced me a great deal to be the kind of reader that I am. Ever since I was a child, reading has always been a huge part of my life, something that has always been automatic in my system. Happy, sad, lonely, excited, angry, confused, lost, problematic, grateful... whatever my state of mind or emotional state is, I read, read and read. Reading has ...

August 10, 2009... I cannot even begin to write about what happened on that day. Everything is still a blur. All I can think of is that, on that day, I lost the most important man in my life, the man who made me what I am and who I am, the only man that I ever truly loved-- my father. He succumbed to the Big C only four months after the lump he had on the left side of his buttock area was diagnosed as a malignant tumor. I just couldn't believe it. It was too soon. I've always known friends and even cousins who have lost their fathers, and I did feel for them, but I just couldn't relate. I couldn't picture my life without my father. I was confident that my dad would grow old with us up until he's 98, that's what he always said as the age that he would be ready to go because by then everything would have been in order and we'd all have been stable. I never imagined, not even when he got sick, that he'd go thirty years too early. The first time I ...

I found out about Michael Jackson's death from my friend and colleague, Jah . I just came from my class when she mentioned that Michael Jackson had passed away. At first, I thought she was joking. And then, she said that it was all over the news. I was surprised, but I was too busy preparing for my next class that the idea didn't exactly sink in. The days passed, life went on for me, and I kept seeing updates about Michael Jackson's death on the news. Still, it was really hard to believe and I just couldn't get the idea to sink in. Subconsciously, I kept expecting to find out that it was all a joke, that it was another one of Michael Jackson's pranks and that he wasn't really dead. The thing is, I wouldn't exactly claim to be Michael Jackson's #1 fan or anything, but growing up in the '80s and '90s, I would say that he and his music are a huge part of my life. It's impossible for a person my age to not know him and his songs, and even the c...

I was looking for a certain comment one of my friends gave about one of my entries some years ago and I found out that I've lost a LOT of my comments. I don't know if that's really how the blogger comment service works, if they delete comments when your blog reaches a certain number of comments or something. I remember when this blog was still very active (I would have a new entry every week!) and most of my blogger friends were also active, we'd all have 20 to 30+ comments per entry. And, as I was searching for that particular comment, I was surprised that most of my entries during those days now have 0 comments. I am really saddened by this because those comments are reminder of our blogging heyday. Nowadays, blogging has become a little less popular. What with all the services all these new websites and networking websites offer, not to mention the likes of twitter . Well, as for me, I still go hop around all my regular blog reads. I love to read what people (...

Despite everything that's been happening in the Philippines recently, what with the A(H1N1) Virus (Swine Influenza) threat and the Con-Ass bullsh*t, I just can't bring myself to care and be involved. It's not that I don't really care, it's just that so much have happened in the family that I just can't think outside of it. My family has been besieged with one tragic news after another. We've never been in such a roll of bad luck. Sometimes, when something bad happens to you or to any of your loved ones, you start to wonder how and why it has happened to you. Why you? Why do bad things happen to good people? You know and you're sure that you've been good to others, you've done your part to make this world a better place, still sh*t happens to you! Has something gone awry in the karmic cosmos that people who do not deserve bad karma get it while people who deserve it get away? You wonder what you, or any of your loved ones, have done to deserve s...

My life has always been something that most people would refer to as "a bed of roses." Sure, I've had my share of problems and struggles, but nothing that I couldn't really handle or deal with. I've pretty much grown up not really wanting or missing out on anything as my folks have always done their best to give us everything we want and need. My family has had its share of ups and downs, but we've always made it... and with flying colors, if I may say so. Yes, life has been really good. While I am very thankful for that, I can't help but wonder how things would've been if my life weren't as rosy as it were. Would I be a much stronger person? Would I be more courageous and braver? Would I be more "together" in facing what life has just thrown so unexpectedly at me? Would I be less scared right now? Less confused? Less depressed? Would I be able to handle things in a different way? Or is there really any other way that I could ...

I have been getting this 25 Random Things About Me Tag in my Facebook and Friendster accounts and I've been having fun reading my friends' random things , so I decided to play along and have my own list, too. I changed something, though. Instead of having just 25 random things , I decided to make mine 29 because I turned 29 three weeks ago. Hehehe:) Here goes... 1. I'm one of the most impatient people I know. 2. I don't laugh easily when I watch movies or TV shows, but when I do laugh, I laugh like crazy! And, I don't care/mind if I'm the only one laughing. Haha!:) 3. I usually don't care about what others would say, as long as I know I'm not doing anything wrong. 4. I can sometimes be brutally honest. 5. I usually just keep my mouth shut the whole time when I'm with people I don't really like. I just listen, hoping to hear something interesting or something that would make me like them. 6. I am short-tempered. I get mad really easily. But, my...