The Ocean of My Being

Have you ever wondered how it feels not to be able to do things that you like and you enjoy most because of fear... fear that something bad might happen to you at the end of the day? Have you ever wondered how it feels to be not understood by any other person? Or to have others think they know how you feel when they don't have even the slightest idea what you're going through? Have you ever wondered how it feels to know the truth and wish that you never did or you just didn't have a clue? Have you ever wondered how it feels to be helpless and you can't really do much about it? Have you ever wondered how it feels to want to give everything up, but you know you just can't because you'll hurt people if you do? Have you ever wondered how it feels to be put in a box where you can barely flex your muscles because, apparently, this is the best thing to do? Have you ever wondered how it feels to wait for something that might actually be nothing or nothing that might ac...

Ah, I missed blogging! I've finally gone back to work on the 1st (of this month). My job makes me want to go nuts and all sometimes, but I really do enjoy it. After being on-leave for almost two weeks, I really missed the sessions and the people. The Japanese admin staff are a little stricter now and I think it's all good. I have no problems with following rules as long as they're reasonable. It's very busy mornings and Mondays for me again.:) The semester is also nearing its end. This means that papers to be written are piling up at the moment. I have three papers to write and a final exam for one course. And, thing is my professor is not one to accept mediocrity in papers and answers. Plus, I still have to submit three other papers to two other professors. Now, as usual, I'm still waiting for inspiration! Waaah! :( If there's one thing that excites me to no end right now, it's Ramadhan ! Ramadhan will fall on October this year. How fast time ...

I was tagged by Anicee . It's the timeline tag. ( Sorry, sis, it took me this long to answer this one. I didn't have my PC with me for a few days, eh. ) Okay, here goes... TWENTY YEARS AGO. In 1985, I was a very shy and quiet 5-year-old girl. I was in kindergarten (at Dansalan College). I don't remember that much about my very first year in school. Maybe that's because I never really found kindergarten interesting because, the loner that I was, I didn't really have friends. I just sat in my place the whole time and didn't really talk to anyone. When playtime came, I remember I didn't even bother taking a single toy from the toy cabinet. I didn't really find the lessons that exciting either because, having older brothers I studied with even before I first set foot in the classroom, I already knew most of the things being taught. I was already reading "kiddie words" (short and simple words) when my classmates were learning their ABCs. F...

One night, I was comfortably lying in bed, totally engrossed in a book, when in the silence I suddenly heard the soft sound of wings flapping. Knowing it was some insect or worse a flying cockroach, I quickly jumped out of bed armed with my Baygon (insect-killing formula)! I stood still waiting for the thing to make its presence felt again. It felt like time stood very still with me. And then, suddenly, I heard it again so I jumped and sprayed like crazy. The thing was actually a really big bug that looked very much like a cockroach. Relieved when I saw it fall to the floor, I slowly went to take a closer look. I saw that the thing was on its back with all its feet (3 pairs) raised up to the air as if begging for help. As I got closer, I noticed that it was actually struggling and fighting for dear life. I felt really sorry but it was too late, I've already sprayed (too much, too) on it and it was slowly dying. I continued looking at the little thing because, for some unkn...

I got this "questionnaire" from my email. Answering it was fun. Since there's been so many surveys and questionnaires going around in the blogworld, I decided to post this one in my blog and spread it as well. :) So, for this one, I'm tagging: -- Anicee -- Ayeza -- Mami Che -- Laureen ******** Your complete name: -- Diandra-Ditma Aguam Macarambon Interests: -- Islam, Literature (all genres), Culture (especially the Meranao culture) and People, Languages, Travel, Arundhati Roy, Soccer, Basketball (especially UAAP), The Internet, Figure Skating (just watching; i do skate, but i really don’t do fancy stuff), Musicals/Plays, Instrumental Music, anything/everything Pink, Asian stuff, Animals (especially cats and dolphins), Food, and last but not least, anything/everything about Japan! Oh, and my men: David Trezeguet, Maksim Mrvica, Hideaki Takizawa, Takuya Kimura, Ken Hirai, Hiroyuki Sanada, Denzel Washington, Orlando Bloom, Prince William (of Wales), Ken Zhu (of F...

I got this from Toni ! Number of books on the shelves: Where I'm currently staying: I only have a study table in my dormitory room, no shelf. I have around 15 books on the table. I have my other books in two balikbayan boxes; I have some books on the floor as well. :) Back home: My book shelf is full (I don't know how many books I have there) and then I have another box full. :) Those that I own/bought: Maybe around 300 or more (academic ones not included). :) 5 last books that I bought: 1. Lualhati Bautista 's "Gapo" 2. L. M. Montgomery 's "Anne of the Island" 3. Carol O'Connor 's "Mallory's Oracle" 4. Rebecca Wells ' "Little Altars Everywhere" 5. Arundhati Roy 's "The God of Small Things" Book/s I’m reading now: Paulo Coelho 's "The Pilgrimage" Last 5 books read: 1. J. K. Rowling 's "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" 2. Rolando Tinio 's "A Matter of Langu...

I feel pretty good. It seemed like the past weeks actually exhausted me, what with my job, graduate school and my "new career" as a serious cheerer/fan of the UP Fighting Maroons and the Ateneo Blue Eagles in the UAAP 68th Season . I haven't missed a single game of both school teams. There was even one time I went to the games by myself because my other UAAP friends couldn't make it. These games actually keep me sane and they've become my instrument for de-stressing . I get really stressed in some games, though. But, it's the kind of stress that's not really that bad or that wouldn't add lines or wrinkles on my face or anything. The games are really fun!:) My baller IDs... they're part of my "uniform".:) ******** Being always tired and all, my body's resistance to 'common diseases' considerably decreased so that I had another bout with gastritis and had some allergic reaction to some things (salmon that wasn't...

Being a Muslim in the Philippines can be tough. Without even knowing who you are, you can be subjected to discrimination, that range from slight to really bad, just because of the name you carry or something that you wear (the kombong (veil) for women and the kopya or the tableegh outfit for men). Honestly, I have always been more oblivious than conscious of the 'slight discrimination' that I’ve so far been subjected to as a Muslim based in Manila. I usually would just keep my calm or come back at people with jokes when I experience being treated like someone so stupid or someone who has no feelings at all. I would always try my best to stay as cool as I can by reminding myself that I know better than the kind of people who discriminate. Also, sometimes, I see that it is not really hatred that makes them do such things that inevitably insult me, it is actually sheer ignorance. Some people just don’t know anything. I do admit, though, that there are times when I can’t h...

I've been a citizen of the blog world for more than one year and a half now. All this time, I've been reading and hopping from one blog to another. I have read many a different view about various events, issues and people. I have always enjoyed reading what other people actually think about certain things. I have learned a lot, too. And, like every single blogger in the world, I also have ideas and opinions of my own. These ideas and opinions may differ from that of others, but I don't really think this makes them (my ideas and opinions) any less, in sense and value, than others'. This is also what I think whenever I read opinions and ideas that are so different from mine. I always tell myself, " to each his own. " This also holds true in the "real" world. There will always be people who will see or view things in a way far different from one's own. It is always good to keep " to each his own " in mind. But, then again, there...

This month started really nice for me. Work's been okay, school's great and my interest in both has continuously been increasing. I haven't been having enough sleep, but that's all right. I'm actually getting used to that. I've been enjoying all the assigned readings, too. My CL 240 ( Asian Literature ) readings has awakened my " Asian-ness " more than ever. Asian culture is just great. I love being Asian! :) Days are nice and happy. I feel peaceful and I am just in love with life right now. May this feeling last... :) ******** Stories... July 1 : --This day was very special because it was Tita Pie 's wedding. It was a really nice wedding. Very intimate. Tita Pie and Paps were obviously in cloud nine. It's always nice to see couples who are so happy being together. I was (am) really happy for them, especially for Tita Pie because I know that this was what she's been waiting and praying for. Seeing her so happy and grinn...