The Ocean of My Being

Aaah, it feels good to have finally rested and relaxed for some days! Our Christmas break started on the 21st and, since then, I have been staying home (going out only when I have to run errands) just chilling out. It's great! I don't even remember when was the last time I had as many days to rest and relax as I've had (still have) this break. No exaggeration there. Ever since I started working, I haven't enjoyed any break or vacation as when we have breaks, that's actually when we are given extra load of work to do since we don't have our classes to worry about. Also, when the department doesn't have us working our butts off, the orgs I'm in come into the picture. I end up having to work more on breaks or vacations than when I have classes. So, you can just imagine how much I am enjoying and savoring every single minute of my Christmas break! Half the time, I am glued to the computer exploring the Internet wwworld! When my computer finally g...

...I like guns! I'm not the type who wants to go to war or the type who approves shooting of people or anything, but I have always had this fascination with guns. And, I like them long and big! I love target shooting. I've never really done it in real target shooting ranges, but I've done shooting cans and what-have-yous in private areas/locations. I also enjoy target shooting games at arcades and fairs. There was even this one time my friend and I went to the try-outs for the UP Rifle and Pistol Team just so we could do some shooting. It was really fun and they couldn't believe when I told them that I've actually done some target shooting using real guns back home. One time, my friends and I went to this area near the lake ( Lanao ) for some fun, and one of us had a gun with him, so we started looking for cans to shoot. There weren't any other people around so it was alright. When it was my turn, as I pulled the trigger, the bullet casing flew straight...

I couldn't go to work (read: had to miss my classes) for two days because my cough and colds went from bad to worse. Plus, I have fever at the moment. So, I opted to stay home and rest. There's nothing good on TV, so here I find myself answering personality quizzes as I'm still under the Blogger's Block Witch 's spell. Some quizzes can actually be accurate, you know.:) Anyway, here are results I got: You were a Poet in your Past Life! You were quite the introverted one, misunderstood and alone in your thoughts. You would stay up to three o'clock in the morning with your pen, sharing your dreams and losses with your beloved journal. Your poems were inspiring mostly to your love interests. Your words were your weapon... weapon of love, that is. You Have Great Self-Esteem! Your feelings about yourself are well-balanced. You believe in yourself enough to go after your dreams, but are able to still maintain a good work ethic. You don't take life perso...

I am suffering from the worst blogger's blog ever! Back when I didn't have Internet connection, I wanted to write about so many things. I had so much in mind that I wanted to write about. And, now that I finally have Internet Access in my own room, I can't think of anything to write about. What an irony! I'm probably just exhausted right now. I get home really tired everyday since the new semester started. I've been trying to adjust to my new schedule. I have classes from Mondays to Saturdays (27 units)! And, I've been having a lot of headaches lately. What I need most right now is rest and that's what I'm going to do. Hay. Here are some things I've recently been busy with: -preparing my class record and teaching/instruction materials; -reading (both for academic and entertainment purposes); -watching movies; -exploring Facebook (so much fun!).

How do you comfort people who just lost their father? What do you actually say to them? That everything's going to be all right? That they have to accept it because it's the most natural thing in the world, to die? That they have to be strong for one another? Do you cry with them? Do you tell stories about the recently departed loved-one? Or is it enough to just hug them and squeeze their hands? Yesterday, I was taking my lunch when I got the news (through a text message) that Zielna 's (one of my closest friends) father met an accident. He was riding a motorcycle, and had the right of way, when suddenly a speeding Crosswind swerved and hit his motorcycle sending him flying and hitting, head-first, the Crosswind's windshield before bouncing off to the ground. He died on the spot. I was shaken by the news. It was a sad, sad, sad news. Very shocking. Marnellie , another friend of mine, and I were just talking about her friend who also met an accident a few day...

The Hoo-Haa Girls... Posing for the camera as soon as we got to our room... ...and just before sleeping! ************ At the Night Cafe... ************ I've been trying to upload pictures here for days, but it never worked until today. So, finally, the pictures are up! Weeee! :)

I love out-of-town trips. I love going to, exploring and getting to know different places (and people). Traveling would always give me a kind of high that's comparable, let's say, to a high that one gets when he joins a contest and wins it! One of my greatest dreams in life is to travel and visit every single country in the world. I want to go back-packing one day, and I'd like to start here in the Philippines . I want to set foot and see all our towns, cities and provinces here in the Philippines . Weeee! Just thinking about it excites me to no end! But, of course, before I can actually do all that, I will have to save a lot of money. So, right now, I content myself with little out-of-town trips with family or with friends. When I do get the chance to go traveling or to go on an out-of-town trip, I see to it that I have a great time. Last weekend, my friends from the Department and I (there were six of us) went on an out-of-town trip. After working our butts off...

Yay!!! Congrats to me! Finally, I have Internet connection at home! So, now, I can net-surf anytime I want (well, except when I'm at work), I can blog as regularly as I used to, I can blog-hop and read all my daily reads like I used to, I can chat with friends I haven't seen for so long, I can be more active in all my egroups, I can do research anytime and in the comfort of my own room, too. I can do a whole lot of other things! I can download ebooks, find games and puzzles for my classes any day! Life is much easier with this new connection. Also, my folks wouldn't have to worry about my spending one whole night at the Net Centers. And, the driver wouldn't need to wake up at 12 midnight just to pick me up from the Centers. Weeee! :) I'm so happy! :)

Ocean is the name I gave to my journal. She ( yes, she's a she! ) is the only one who knows me completely, inside and out. When I write in Ocean , I feel that I can truly say what I want to say without any fear of judgment or criticism. I've had Ocean since I was in high school and she has really helped me a lot. She has been (still is) a major part of my life and has always been the thing that really keeps me sane. When I feel like I don't belong in this world, that I probably am in the wrong place and time, that nobody understands me, it's only Ocean that holds me together because with her, I can just be who and what I really am and she accepts me without conditions. She is my mirror. Going through her pages helps me a lot in understanding and learning about my past self and my present self. She keeps me from anger and destruction. She saves me. ************ When I read The Diary of Anne Frank for the first time back in high school, I remember finding her idea...

We've just celebrated Eid'l Fitr (one of the two most important days in the Islamic world). The day marks the end of the Holy Month of Ramadhan . It is the day when Muslims all over the world gather to pray together as one. It is the day when we ask forgiveness from and grant forgiveness to one another. It is the day when families and friends get together to celebrate. It is the day when we all remember how we sacrificed for and in praise of Allah and wish with all our hearts that all our efforts are accepted by the Almighty . It is the day when we are reminded of all the lessons we learned from all the sacrifices we have made. It is the day when we show appreciation and gratitude for the gifts of the Holy Month . Here's to hoping that everything we got from Ramadhan stays with us for the rest of our lives and that we still be here to welcome and enjoy more Ramadhans to come. To everyone, Happy Eid'l Fitr! :)

Those who know me and those who have read this blog long enough know how much I love and enjoy reading. Reading has done me a lot of good. It has taken me to places, has made me find the best and most interesting friends, has helped me in dealing with and accepting life's blows, has taught me so much not just about the world and everything around me, but about myself. Reading is my anti-depressant and relaxant. It's the best drug for me. One of the subjects/courses I am teaching is Literature. Needless to say, I love it! My devotion to literature can easily be compared to a pair of lovers' devotion to each other. And, I want my students to have a clear view or at least a glimpse of that special world I have loved all my life. I want my students to feel the way I feel when I read and when I am blown away by the power and beauty of literary pieces. I want them to travel around the world in 80 days with Phileas Fogg and Passepartout . I want them to join the wonderful...

It’s been really busy on this side of the planet since last month. As always, from the later half of August until the first week of September, we, here in MSU, have been crazily busy. What with the foundation celebration of the individual colleges, the intramurals, the different competitions in the literary, musical and dance fields and, finally, the MSU Day (September 1)! The activities and celebration (read: the busiest time of the year for me) officially started on August 8 th , the start of the 3-day English Days Celebration . We had competitions, department parties and programs during the 3-day celebration. The whole ground floor of our building was transformed into a mini-global village-cum-Garden of Eden as the Humanities students showcased food from different parts of the world for their Buffet Table Arrangement Competition and displayed their entries for the Flower Arrangement Competition . It was really nice and colorful, and it made me realize how talented and creat...

I’ve always loved to read. I remember during my earliest years in elementary (grade school), the only books I loved to study and browse were the ones with stories. I loved to read the stories about Filipino families, the picture perfect family who ate together, prayed together (usually they’d go to Antipolo on Sundays), went to the beach, and had pets ( Muning and/or Bantay ). There’d be Lolo (Grandpa), Lola (Grandma), Nanay (Mother), Tatay (Father), Kuya (Older Brother), Ate (Older Sister) and Bunso (Youngest). Tatay would come home from work just in time with Nanay just finishing to set the table for early dinner. The kids would study together, with the older kids always helping Bunso . They’d always have time to play and do house chores. They’d even grow fruits and vegetables in the backyard. And, they were always the most respectful, polite, kind and happy kids. I would always imagine myself as one of the kids in such stories. Not that my family is not a happy one...

Fill in your answers and then scroll for the meaning behind it. Don't mess up the fun, do the answers first. 1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. Who are you walking with? -- Aya. 2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it? -- A tiger. (I love cats!) 3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal? -- We stare at each other. I try to decide whether to run or to stay. Then, I try to go nearer and try to pet it and befriend it. (That is, if it hasn't decided to pounce on me yet!) 4.You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing with your dream home that looks like... -- A house that's not too big nor too small and that has the home-y feel. It'd be a place that would make me feel relaxed and calm just by seeing it or thinking about it. 5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence? -- No. 6.You enter the house. You walk in to the dining room and see... -- A nice, big and clean table with 5 or 6 chairs aroun...

I am at a Net center right now researching about something for one of my classes tomorrow. My plan was just to blog-hop and try to find out what's been going on in my favorite bloggers' lives, but something made me want to update my blog. I have so much to blog about, I just don't have much time to do so. Not even tonight because the driver's already outside waiting for me. But, I'm looking forward to having our own Internet connection at home very soon as Globelines and Smart Bro will reach my place soon. How soon? I don't really know. But, at least they're saying it's going to be real soon. And then, finally, I can blog and blog-hop as much as I want to! :) Meantime, here's something interesting I got from The Caterpillar . My Lakbayan grade is C-! How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan ! Created by Eugene Villar . -- I am so disappointed about my C- grade! It's as low as my Math grade and Math was (sti...

Whenever a friend of mine shares a problem with me, I would imagine myself in the same situation. I would usually try to look at things the way I think my friend would. I would write about it. And, sometimes, I would write as that friend, meaning I would write the thoughts of such friend, based on the things s/he shared, as if they were my own. A few of my close friends know this about me and one or two would usually expect me to write as themselves whenever they share problems with me. One of them even told me that my showing her the piece I wrote, as her, about something that was bothering her helped her. She said that it was better than getting advice, which, according to her, can sometimes be stupid. Oh-kay. I have a good friend who just recently shared with me how she felt about being her father’s daughter with “the other woman.” I’ve always admired this friend of mine for her strength. She’s the type of person who’s always happy and confident. A lot of people say she’s sunshi...

I have been teaching here in MSU for almost a year now (exactly one year in June) and I’d like to say that I have truly enjoyed the whole year. I have learned so much, not only about myself, but about a whole lot of things as well. I’ve tried so many things. There are so many things that I have come to realize. And, I know that there is still a whole lot more that I am going to learn and realize. One very important realization I've had is the fact that teaching really is it for me. It’s when I’m teaching that I feel I am at my best. I always enjoy teaching, even if it sometimes gives me migraine attacks. There was even one time in one of my last period classes that I had the worst migraine attack and so while I was explaining the use of conjunctions and transition words, tears were falling down my face. I couldn’t stop the tears as it felt like my head was really about to explode! I continued and my students could only stare at me in shock! Hehe:) Oh, but t...

It was my 27th birthday last Friday ( the 23rd ). It was a really good day for me. We started the day by jogging around the MSU Oval . We planned to start at 5:30 in the morning (that's the usual time MSUans start jogging), but we woke up at around 5:40. The sun was already up and my mom was teasing us about being too late. We still went. It was really fun. I loved how my day got off to a healthy start. Hehehe:) In the afternoon, we had the Ode to the Meranao: A Poetry Concert . We pulled a very good show despite the fact that the audience was much less than we expected. I felt really proud of my kids as each one of them read their pieces. My mind travelled back to the time when I was one of the readers and I'd feel so proud reading for my people. It was such a great feeling and I'd like to think that my readers also felt the same pride. In our own little way, we wanted to infect others with the love and the pride we have for our place, our lake, our people. ...

I just came from my Saturday classes and I suddenly felt the urge to blog, and so I am here! I am supposed to be in a meeting right now, but the venue was still closed when I checked a while ago. It's either I was too early or the meeting got cancelled without me knowing it! So, anyway, I am thankful for whatever the reason was because it gave me a chance to go to the nearest Internet Center and see what's been going on around the Cyberworld. :) As always, a lot of things have happened since I last blogged. I was in Manila for a few days. I went there to look for a book in UP and to attend my Mami Che's (and Dadi Albert) wedding. I had a wonderful time. I saw many of my friends. I saw UP. I actually stayed at IC (the dorm I used to stay in). I was able to do some of the things I loved to do when I was still there. I got to walk around UP a lot. I got to eat at the restos I was a regular in. I stayed only for four days (too short), but I had fun. And, the weddin...

When somebody I know dies, I'm usually affected a huge deal. Especially if death takes away someone important and special. It makes me so sad that it usually takes a long time before I finally get over it. People would say, " Life must go on... just be strong. We will all die, anyway. All of us will someday go "there," too. They just went ahead. " Sure, I understand that. I know that we will all eventually die and that life, for us, living, must go on. I know that. But, that doesn't change the fact that for the rest of my remaining years on earth, I will never see the departed one's smile. I will never hear his/her laugh and voice. I will never feel their gentle touch. That fact alone depresses me to no end. Two nights ago, my parents and brother came home very sad. They told us (me and my sister) that Mommy Rosie (our dad's first wife) had just passed away. I could only whisper a prayer and, for a few minutes, stare at nothing in particular. After p...