Looking Forward, 2013!!!


Salaam, everyone!

How's 2013 treating you so far? I hope all's well with all of you and I hope more blessings come to everyone of us as the days of the year pass. So far, everything's been good from my side. I've gotten sick, but I'm better now and ready to rock and roll! Haha! Happy rockin' and rollin' in 2013, my friends! :)

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It's already 5:11 am in my watch and I haven't slept a wink yet. I don't know. Sleep hasn't been very nice to me lately. I guess I overslept when I got sick so my body is making up for all those times I lost oversleeping and all! I'm awake more than usual these days and I've been busy trying to come up with topics I could work on as I trudge through my graduate classes this semester. Two important papers are due this weekend and, honestly, all I've done is think of interesting topics and write five (three for the first one, two for the other one) different introductory parts! Being so interested in a certain thing sometimes makes it so difficult to write about it because there are just so many things you want to write and explore about, but, of course, research and academic writing holds you down to a specific area or aspect. And, on this specific area or aspect you should focus and set your scope and limitation! And, for the scatter-brain that I have been these days, it's just difficult to focus! Dang! But, I will do it! This Saturday, I must submit these requirements! And, I will! So, hold your horses, Othello, I will conquer you!

Another thing that's been keeping me awake these days are words. Words are haunting me. Every time I close my eyes to sleep, words, beautiful and otherwise, come rushing to me and threaten to drown me. My mind would overflow with things I want to declare! My mind would go to lands and times only I know and meet both familiar and unfamiliar people living in these lands and times. These people haunt me, too. I look out of the jeepney or bus window and I see them. I look over to the next table at the restaurant and I see them. There is just no getting away from them. Some of these people and these places, I can tell you about. Some of them, though, I can't bring myself to talk about. Even if these ones are the most familiar, the closest to my heart. I can't say so much about them as I need to protect them from you and you from them. The hardest part is that the more I keep mum about these ghosts, the more I lose myself. They scare me as much as you all scare me sometimes. But, I can't talk about them. I just can't. Not yet. So, I'll keep them locked up even if this means that I'm locking myself up with them. I need to keep them where they can reach only one soul. Mine.

One day, I'll probably learn to talk about these places, these times and these people. One day, I could probably set them free, no, not to haunt others, but to set others free. One day, I'll probably stop fighting them. But, until then, I'll stick to talking about those who are less closer and familiar to me, those who cannot hurt me or anyone else. And, when that one day comes, I'll be able to breathe freely and sleep soundly. No more nightmares; no more ghosts. Just freedom. For me. For all of us.

I guess that's enough sharing for now. I probably didn't make any sense to you, huh? I can explain. But, not now. Not yet.

Comments

Anonymous said…
bungga man! but i think i can relate to that haunting you are talking about there. sometimes i can't sleep because of it, too.

i really like reading your blog. i learn from it also. i hope you update it more so that there's more to read.

sincerely,
dzenuwin emesyuan
Anonymous said…
by the way, it's my first time comment here. i read all the time but too shy to comment sometimes. i hope it's okey.

again it's me,
dzenuwin emesyuan
BabyPink said…
Thank you very much for your comments, Dzenuwin Emesyuan. Please don't hesitate to leave comments here whenever you want. There's no need to be shy. :)
Bing said…
as mysterious as your pic with this post are the words in it.

there are things that we can't just talk/write about. reminds of that line 'some things are better left unspoken'!

happy new year, dear babypink! sorry for this late visit because like you i am rocking and rolling this 2013. :D
BabyPink said…
Thank you, Miss Bing! I'm happy to know you're having a blast this 2013! :)
Anonymous said…

Things may become harder for you if you opt to stay silent. Sometimes we need to face things the hardest way even if it would mean you would hurt another. we may not know what consequence it would bring if we try to let go of our thoughts but the thing is you would get out of that ugly picture you are placed in. It is your own peace of mind that shall matter the most.


~HD Love~
BabyPink said…
Those are nice thoughts. They made me realize some things. Thank you, HD Love! :)
Aziza said…
It's good to read something mysterious in your blog, My Precious. Whatever or whoever you're keeping locked up in your mind, I'm just here when you're ready to let those words go. I miss you bigtime, My Precious! :)
BabyPink said…
I miss you, too, my precious! I do hope we could hang out before your big day comes! :)

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