The Ocean of My Being

I am so sad right now. Early in the morning the day before yesterday (about 2:30), we went to take our dorm-mate, Naonao , to the airport. We wanted to keep her company in her last few hours here in Manila (for the time being). God only knows when we’ll all see her again. It was one of those moments when you just wish time would stop. It was one of those moments where you, with a heavy heart, reluctantly face one of life's most cruel realities- that nothing really lasts forever. Forgive my being too sentimental about this… It’s just that I feel like a chapter in my life has ended with our dear Naonao's leaving. Naonao is, or I should say was, a dorm-mate. Her room was just across mine. We didn’t really become “ friendly friends ” until after her first semester of stay in the dorm. It’s funny every time we think about it. The first time we “really” talked was one night when the lights (power) in her room didn’t work and she had to study for an exam. What she did was

I am 24 today! I don’t really have anything in mind to write about today. I mean, every time I try to think of something decent to write, my mind goes totally academic and all (Yeah right, I wish!). This is because I have my mind totally bent on finishing all the things I need to write and finish this semester! I do not want to have anymore INCs, for God’s sake! Once and for all, I think I have learned my lesson!:) So, what I’m going to do instead is post on this blog something (part of a long and very personal ‘essay’) that I wrote for the very person who means the whole world to me… MY MOM ! I wrote this on her 58th birthday. And, today, as I celebrate my 24th birthday, I think it is best that I honor the person responsible for my coming into this world. She is, after all, the person I most look up to and I most want to be like. To the very best mom in the whole world, this is for you… *********** December 12, 2003 December 12… Today is the birthday of a very important and

1. Living M ad as mad can be, so they say, I breezed through this, my journey N ot one thing ever I noticed, nay! A las! Things I saw not, a many. L ife is lived as lived, so they say, Y es, I know at this time and way. N e’er shall come the old nor the day! 2. Love from Afar N o love can ever be more true A s I love all that is you! O h, those eyes, those lips! God! M y love, all stops with you near. I look at you- your face, what joy! J oy that is incomparable to A ny that the mortal Earth gives, N othing breaks such feeling of magic- E ven as I watch you from afar. 3. Life Poem H eavy rains and thunder pounded all around, through and through; “ E vil broke lose,” my child mind could but whisper to the wind. R ough roads and rocks, I went through when from safety I came about; M y strong weakness oft almost beating out what seemed like weak strength. A h, but nay! After the cat

Bokelo … This is the Meranao word for “lazy” or someone who “masters the art of idleness”, as my dad would put it. This is exactly what I am! I haven’t been going to the Net centers as much as I would want to because if I did I would totally feel guilty about it. Yes, that’s right, guilty! Why? Well, because I have to do and finish nine papers, study for three exams and prepare for one last report before the semester ends (and that’s two weeks away). But then, come to think of it, I haven’t really done much yet! So, now I’m wondering why I had to feel guilty over going to the Net centers, checking my Friendster, blogging, chatting, checking my email, forum hopping at Peyups and RiceBowl… I mean, with or without the Internet as a distraction, I haven’t really moved any closer to getting all the things I need to finish done anyway! Whose fault is that? Nobody’s! It all falls down to I am a freakin’ BOKELO !!! So, anyway, here I am blogging and doing what I’ve wanted most to