Chotto matte kudasai...*


These past days, I've been feeling a little sad about some development in the life of one of my best friends, Dean. He's actually my closest guy friend. You see, his family wants him to marry soon. This isn't really new to me (us) because his family (aunts, uncles and mom) have been urging him to choose a girl and have been going around our place searching for the perfect girl for him for a long time now. And, finally, around December of last year, they found her. They told Dean about her and Dean was okay with the idea, but, of course, he had to see the girl first. We joked about the whole thing. Every time he would think of going home to visit his family, I'd tease him endlessly about the possibility of coming back married and all.

Last Friday, I went to see him off at the Centennial Airport. He went home to get away from the heat here in Manila! Again, we joked about his getting married soon. I seriously asked him how he really felt about it and he said he really didn't know. He said he was neither excited nor nervous. But, he said that if he were to decide, he wouldn't marry just yet. He said he wanted to go work abroad first, have his own business and do lots of things first before settling down. He said he really didn't see himself ready for married life yet. I said I understood what he was saying because if I were in his shoes, I'd also probably ask for a two or three year postponement or something.

Later that night, just before midnight, he texted me saying that when he got home, they were all waiting for him and they went to the girl's place to see her and her family. You know, to make things formal and all. He said that the girl's pretty and tall. He also said that his uncles would be talking about the dialaga (engagement ceremony/party) the next day. And, that was when it hit me. All of a sudden, I couldn't stop tears from falling! Oh my God, Dean is REALLY getting married!!! The idea, after all these months, finally sank in! His getting married would mean not hanging out with him anymore, not being able to call him anytime I want to any longer, not being able to make him come whenever I'm down. It would mean losing him, well, sort of losing him. Sure, we can still see him and hang out with him, but it just wouldn't be the same anymore.

All I could hope and pray for right now is for the girl to be nice. If she became a part of our barkada, maybe things wouldn't be that tough. The thought of never being able to hold on to Dean whenever I am caught by surprise, never being able to share a donut, a drink or the same plate with him, never being able to go out alone with him just drives me nuts! I pray that they agree to what he wants to happen, and that is have the dialaga first and have the wedding one or two years from now. That way, all of us should have been ready.

It's all weird, I know, to some people. But, that's how it is in the Meranao culture. When the family decides, one can't do anything about it. I'm really okay with the so-called arranged marriages, but I believe the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be should be given time to prepare themselves for the new life they're going to have. When my time comes, that's all I am going to ask for.

God, as I'm writing this, I just can't help but cry... again. :(

********


* Please wait a minute...


Comments

Dilip Mutum said…
Yep, marriage defintiely changes a lot of things between friends. Especially between friends of different gender. I guess your turn will come soon ;-)
BabyPink said…
yikes! i don't want my turn to come soon. hehehe:)
the caterpillar said…
"yikes! i don't want my turn to come soon."

hahaha! i imagine you being just like a kid if you'd say this aloud.

bitaw noh, medyo kiwa na dayon pagmarried na imong friend especially since gurl ka, guy siya. some things will never ever be the same again.
BabyPink said…
korek ka jan, val! kiwa na jud...:(
Anonymous said…
it's difficult to deal with friends getting married, especially when done in haste, but then accepting it, and learning how to cope with it is part of growing up. :D

noringai
BabyPink said…
you're right, you're right.:)

sometimes, though, i'd feel like i don't want to grow up. hehehehe:)

salamat.:)
Anonymous said…
Totally understand. I lost my best guy friend to his Maranao girlfriend last year [hehe, that sounded nastier than intended], and the most difficult part was knowing the girlfriend will always come first. Oh, well. There's a reason why we all loved that Julia Roberts flick My Best Friend's Wedding. We go through the same sad process at least once in our young lives. To quote Kimmy [Cameron Diaz] in that film: "You win. He has you in a pedestal, and me in his arms." [Halata bang hindi lang 100 times ko pinanood yun? Hahaha.] That's why this time around, I'm making sure I'm in his arms. I'm sick of the pedestal. Hahaha. Joke.
BabyPink said…
ah, kilala ko 'yang gelpreng 'yan!;)
Matthew said…
Marriage is the devil. Moreso than the actual devil. Who is appropriately enough, against marriage.
balikbayan_box said…
... arrange marriage has its two sides of the coin. it works for others, some ended in tragedy and there are those who kept silent forever.

blog hopping... nice blog!
BabyPink said…
matthew,
how ironic, right?:)

balikbayan,
yeah, you're right. arranged marriages do, half the time, work and end up really bad halfthe time. hay!
Anonymous said…
I am still in denial.. we are not oing to loose Dean.. noway!

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